Chaos ensured
by SunnydayinPallet
Summary: Light wants to get away from the wasps, L wants to find his tarts, Mello wants to be number one, Matt wants to jump Mello and Near wants to be left in peace. Yeah, as if that could ever happen.... L/Light, Matt/Mello, Near/? -- ON HOLD--
1. Homocidal Wasps

**Pairing: **L/Light, Matt/Mello, Near/_you'll see ;)_

**Rating: **T

**Warning: **Future (mild) yaoi, OOC Light and some language

**Summery: **Light wants to get away from the wasps, L wants to find his tarts, Mello wants to be number one, Matt wants to jump Mello and Near wants to be left in peace. Yeah, as if that could ever happen....

A/N: Finally, a story that _isn't_ a one shot! I just think I should warn you: The plot will take some time to develop, since I want to focus on the humor.

Oh, and the heights thing is for the future, not some random thing I decided to just put in there for no reason!

_Disclaimer: I don't _own Death Note!

-

Light was not scared of much. Darkness, he could handle. Big mobs of violent people, easy! Gore, blood and horror movies, bring it on! The list was almost endless, but there where three exceptions, three things that scared him silly.

The first were guns. They hadn't been a problem up until a few weeks ago when he thought his dad was going to put a bullet in his head. No one could really blame, either.

The second thing he despised were heights. They made his stomach turn, he'd feel uneasy and he'd want to get _down_, preferably without falling. This fear was also newly discovered. Apparently, looking out of his and L's bedroom window did that to you. Who knew why the man wanted to sleep on the _sixteenth _floor?

And finally, the third thing Light Yagami couldn't handle, were wasps. You know, those big, yellow-striped monsters with wings and vicious needles! He wasn't even sure why he hated them so much, but now wasn't really a great time to ponder...

...since he was staring one straight in the eye.

He remained frozen in place, not wanting to tell L about the monster. Who knew, maybe L would figure out a way to somehow raise his Kira percentages.

Okay, so he didn't want L to know about his fear of wasps, big deal!

Sepia eyes studied the creature as it buzzed across the room, circling Lights baguette. The boy cautiously stretched his hand forward, ready to save his lunch, but pulled it back when the insect made an angry noise. The beast made a move towards the teen, causing him to flinch back so violently that he fell of the chair. Of course, since L has cuffed to his wrist, he two was yanked out of his seat.

Light remained on the ground for a few moments, trying to ignore the stare he was receiving from L.

Light could feel the heat rising to his face already. This was so humiliating! He had lost control of his actions for one second, _one second_. How could he come up with a plausible reason to falling out of his chair. He'd have to think. Think, think, think...

Easier said then done.

He coughed and got up from the floor, straightening his already crease-free shirt in the process.

"Erhm... I'm sorry about that, Ryuzaki. I must have put to much weight on the back of the chair or something." Light mumbled.

"Your eye is twitching, which is a sign of lying, Light-kun. That leads me to believe that you fell out of the chair for other reasons. Could that insect have something to do with it?" The detective pointed a pale finger towards the buzzing beast and Light bit his lip.

Damn it!

He couldn't lie again, L would probably see through it. Maybe there was another way out. Maybe...

"It surprised me, thats all. Buzzing in my face and all." Light stated calmly. So calmly that L would have in fact believed him, if the wasp hadn't made another move towards the teen. Light took a step back, almost stumbling on his own feet.

He chuckled nervously at this, his eyes darting from the bloodthirsty beast and back to L, not really sure what to do. It was becoming apparent that he would have to do _something _If he didn't want to get stung by the insect.

"I think we should get back to the main office," Light finally tried, "Or we'll be late."

"But Light-kun has yet to finish his food."

"Light-kun isn't hungry" the teen said, mocking the detectives speech. The older man raised a non-existent eyebrow and sighed.

"The fact that you decided that you no longer required any more substance the moment you set eyes on a wasp, leads me to believe that you suffer from a fear of wasps, Light-kun." L said in his usual monotone.

Light stared at him.

".... ….Wow, you couldn't just ask 'hey, Light, are you afraid of wasps'?" he muttered, trying to distract L from his flushing face. Why did he have to blush now? Why wasn't his body functioning normally today?

L continued. "The fact that Light-kun has yet to deny it confirms my theories."

Light was just about to say that L was being absolutely ridiculous, but the wasp decided to re-appear, right on Lights nose.

"Aaagh!"

"Taking the screams into consideration, I would like to conclude–"

"Ryuzaki, shut up and _kill the wasp_!"

"Up 2,4 percent for homicidal intent."

The _thing _was circling him now, probably getting ready to go in for the kill. Letting what little pride that remained go, Light let out another shriek and shuffled over to hide behind the detectives back.

"Ryuzaki, I don't care about the percentages, _kill it!_" he hissed from behind the denim-clad legs.

Light watched as L shrugged and moved over to the table, grabbing hold of Lights baguette.

_What the...?_

"What are you doing?" Light asked carefully, but received no reply. Instead, L just stood there, watching as the bug buzzed about in the room, his usual calculating gaze in place.

Without warning, L suddenly lunged forward, armed a half-eaten baguette, and precoded to deliver a powerful blow to the wasp.

Light watched in utter shock as one of the most respectable men in the planet continued to hit the wasp over and over again, until all that remained of the bug was a mush of red and yellow slime.

Light gaped.

"I think you will find that it is dead." stated L, sounding almost bored.

"... ..." Light continued to stare, mouth wide open.

"Light-kun's impression of a fly trap is impeccable." observed L absently.

"I... can't b...believe you just did that!" Light finally managed, cringing slightly when he realized that he was stuttering. "And with my lunch!" he added, suddenly realizing that his food was now inedible.

"You didn't specify what weapon I should use."

"But I was eating that!"

"Light-kun, you were crawling across the floor, trying to run away from a bug. I would also like to add that you stated that you were no longer hungry."

Light decided to drop it and instead tried to regain his composure. How could he loose it like that? In front of L of all people? Because of an insect that was planning to kill him. Or not... whatever. That wasn't the point!

The teen flipped his auburn locks out of his eyes and started towards the main investigation room, intending to forget the hole incident, but was stopped by a soft yank from the chain.

"What?" He hissed, thoroughly annoyed.

L looked at him with large, empty eyes, but a small smile played on his lips as he spoke.

"Light-kun, I wasn't joking about the percentages. We better hope no one asks why they are higher now then they where five minutes ago."

Light punched L square in the face.

They never spoke of the incident again.

-

_Please review^^_


	2. Paper cuts and toilet seats

A/N: I bring you chapter two of Chaos ensured! Haven't got much to say about this chapter, except that I got the toilet-licking thing (Don't ask, just read -.-) from a friend. She said the same thing as L did... yeah...

Oh, and the sandwich-weapon thing also happened to me. My friend saved me from a wasp by killing it with my baguette. Same friend as the toilet thing. Actually, she came up with a lot of stuff that will be showing up in here^^ (Thanks Stephanie :P )

_Disclaimer: I don't _own Death Note^^

-

Silence echoed in the room.

Dangerous, tense, deathly silence.

Light was still angry (and embarrassed, but he would never admit to that) about the wasp. He was hungry (also because of the wasp incident) and L refused to let him have another lunch break. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Light was in a very, _very _bad mood. So bad in fact, that everyone in the room could feel the fury radiating of him, and knew stay quiet and to under no circumstances disturb the teen.

"Hey, Yagami-kun, is something wrong?"

Every one, apart from Matsuda.

Light turned his head slowly, eyes blazing, hoping to melt the clueless man with his glare. Maybe, if he focused hard enough, Matsuda would just turn into a big pile of goo...

No such luck, the young officer still remained, oblivious as ever.

"Everything's just _dandy,_" came the sarcastic reply from Light, who was giving real effort in his attempt to melt the other man.

Why was Matsuda still alive, damn it!?

"Are you sure? You look a little tense, maybe you should–"

"Matsuda," Light cut off, "I'm fine. Really."

"Are you sure?"

Lights eye twitched.

"Yes, Very sure, now if you please–"

"Are you sure your sure?" Interrupted Matsuda.

Lights fingers started to twitch.

"_Yes_" Light hissed slowly. "I'm fine."

Matsuda was just about to open his mouth, but Light stopped him before he could speak again.

"Actually, now that I think about it, my coffee cup is running on dry, think you could get me a refill?"

Matsuda's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas day.

"Sure, no problem. You know I'm always happy to help!"

And just like that, the man was gone. Light sighed in relief and was about to return to reading through the big stack of paperwork, but felt that o-so-familiar-yet-irritating stare burn a hole in the back of his neck. Biting his lip in annoyance, he turned round and was immediately faced by a pair of dark orbs.

"What now, Ryuzaki?" breathed Light, using an incredible amount of effort not to snap at the man. This was not L's fault, after all.

Hang on, it _was _his fault!

Damn it! Why couldn't he think clearly when he was angry.

"Why did Light-kun tell Matsuda that he was feeling fine when wasn't?" inquired L, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully, whilst nibbling his thumb.

Light wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Don't bite your nails like that, their full of germs! I've heard that you ingest more bacteria biting your fingernails then you would if you licked a toilet seat!" he grumbled, clearly evading the question.

"ahh..." A look of pleasant surprise crossed L's face, catching the brunet of guard, "I knew licking toilet seats were hygienic! And Watari always told me I'd get ill."

Light couldn't help it, his mouth fell open for the second time of the day. "What? You... you _lick _toilet seats? Thats... revolting!"

L and light had now captured the attention of the entire task force, but Light payed them no notice, already lost in his rant.

"I can't believe you'd do that! That's horrible! You just lost all the respect you had from me!" Flailing his arms viciously, Light failed to notice the large stacks of papers.

"Light–" L started, but it was already to late. The teen rammed his hand into the pile of documents, slicing it on the edge of a page.

"-kun" he ended, mentally smacking himself for not stopping him sooner.

"Damn it! Ow! Ow, ow _ow_!" he waved his hand wildly in a feeble attempt to stop the stinging. "This is your fault!" he said, pointing an accusing finger towards L, who narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Light-kun, it's just a paper cut. Now, unless your greeting someone, I would recommend you stopped waving your hand about so I can take a look at it, it might need cleaning."

The teen glared at the detective, but decided that it would be in his best interest to do as the other said and didn't protest as he was dragged away from the main investigation room into the bathroom. Light was to busy glaring at the tiles to notice L walk over to the sink and produce a first aid kit from out of nowhere. Light also failed to notice that the detective had started talking to him, until he felt a bony finger poke his side.

"Huh?" muttered Light intelligently.

"Give me your hand."

Light stared at the detectives outstretched palm.

"There's no way I'm letting you take care of my hand, not with those germ little mitts of yours! I'll get blood poisoning or something." he finally huffed, flipping his hair nonchalantly.

"Light-kun, give me your hand or I wont let you clean it."

It took the teen one second to imagine all the bacterias getting into his skin, causing a nasty infection... He quickly gave in and passed L his hand.

L proceeded to clean the (extremely small) cut, bandaging it appropriately. Light glanced down and noticed that the detective was finished. He was just about to get up, but was stopped by a gentle tug on his wrist.

'Why do I get a a strange feeling of deja vu here?' he thought bitterly but remained quiet, studying the mass of ebony locks covering L's face. Said detective suddenly leaned down, letting his lips brush across the covered cut.

Light let out a gasp in surprise, but remained still, only focusing on the sensation of L's lips against the back of his palm. Suddenly coming to his senses, he yanked his hand back viscously.

"What the hell was that for?" he hissed, meeting L's seemingly absent stare.

"I thought that was how one went about when someone hurt themselves, hence the expression 'to kiss it better'."

Did this man really have _no _social skills at all?

"That applies to parents and children, sometimes lovers to lovers!"

"Oh, really? I didn't know."

Light felt like pulling his hair out from the roots, but resisted. He didn't really want a bold patch yet. He settled for insulting the detective instead.

"Your unbelievable! I still can't believe you lick toilet seats!" He was about to go into full-rant mode, but was interrupted.

"Light-kun?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki," he breathed slowly.

"I was only joking about that. I have never licked a toilet seat."

This time, L had time to dodge the fist that came flying in his direction.

-

_Please review! and if you have any ideas, please let me know!^^_


	3. I'm a gay

A/N: Yes, I went there and I don't care how cliché it is, 'cause it's funny! Well, at least I think it is... Seriously, what where they thinking when they named him Yagami? … ;)

_Disclaimer: I don't _own Death Note^^

_-_

_Slurp. Clink. Crunch._

Lights fingers started twitching.

_Chew. Chew. Swallow._

He wouldn't turn around. L was doing this on purpose, seeing how much he could annoy him, Light was sure. So he would show L that he was above that. He could hold it together. He stay calm in any situation, no matter how loud the detective was eating.

_Chew. Swallow. Clink._

Lights eye twitched. This was getting old fast. But he could do it, he had a willpower of steel! He was Light Yagami! He was the be–

_Sluuuuurp_

Why was he being punished so? Had he done something to deserve this torture? The noises coming from his left suddenly stopped. Light held his breath in anticipation. Could L have finished eating for the day? Or at least for a moment? Now he could finally focus on capturing Kira–

"Light-kun?"

How was it that L always managed to interrupt his thoughts?

"Yes," he managed.

"Is everything alright? You seem kind of tense."

Alright? Alright? L wanted to know if he was alright after having to suffer through listening to a _pig _devour a mountain of diabetes infected poison?

"I'm fine," he said, letting a false cheery smile grace his features, "and I hate to say it Ryuzaki, but you're starting to sound like Matsuda."

Ignoring the "Hay, what's that supposed to mean?" coming from the other end of the room, Light mentally congratulated himself for being able to link the clutz and L together.

"I fail to see how asking about Light-kun's well-being compares me to Matsuda-san."

"Forget it," Light sighed, waving his still-bandaged hand dismissively. Stupid L, ruining the only thing that could be considered remotely _fun_ in this place. It wasn't like they could go out anyware. Or they_ could_, but he didn't really feel like wandering the streets with a (kind of perverted looking) man cuffed to his wrist. It wouldn't really send out the right message. Oh, he could hear it now, the whispers from the narrow-minded people he hated to call fellow-citizens.

"Are they _handcuffed _together?"

"Two men, walking about like that! What a disgrace!"

"Bondage? In the street? They really have issues!"

"Hey, isn't that Yagami-kun? I remember him, he was that one all the girls had a crush on! And he swings _that _way, how sad."

He suppressed a shudder at the last scenario, getting recognized by an old classmate.

Actually, he decided that he didn't want to think of that _at all,_ and returned to work. At least L had stopped shoving junk down his throat. _'Ah, yes. Peace and quiet, how lovely.'_

'_I wander why he eats all that anyway.'_ Light mused. Maybe he had a traumatizing experience as a child? Maybe he got locked in a basement by his parents and the only food in the room was cake... Or maybe his parents died when he was really young and he was stuck in the house, alone and starving? And ice cream was the first thing he was given when he got out! Or maybe... Light decided to just ask L about it.

"Hey... Ryuzaki?" he began, trying to think of a way to form the question without it sounding to weird.

"Yes, Light-kun?" L responded, without pausing his typing on the computer. He really had a peculiar way of writing with the keybord, Light observed. He would only use his index fingers, touching the keys as if it were full of bacterias, just waiting to infect him.

"Why do you eat so much sugar?"

Light watched as L smiled, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Because it tastes good, Light-kun."

Well, he hadn't expecting that.

"But why eat so much of it? You'll get sick," Light muttered.

"Is Light-kun concerned about my health?" asked L, looking truly interested.

"Yes," he hissed, "I am. And stop using my name every time you speak to me."

"But I find Light-kun's name pretty. Is he ashamed of such a name? Maybe he would prefer if I called him something else, Kira perha–"

"Don't start!" interrupted the teen, holding up his hand, "It's just _annoying _to have some one say their name all the time. And no, I'm not ashamed of my name, I find it rather suiting."

"I find Light-kun's surname more suiting," L suddenly snickered. Yes, _snickered!_ That was enough for Light to put his guard up.

"What do you mean?" He asked cautiously.

"oh, I think Light-kun is genius enough to figure that one out himself." L replied, not helping Light in the least.

"I still don't get it, _Ryuzaki._"

"Try thinking of the English spelling. If Light-kun's English is good enough, he should be able to figure it out." L challenged. Naturally, Light rose to the bait.

"There is nothing wrong with my English! If you go back and look at my exam scores, I think you'll find that my English is perfect." the teen stated, angered by the fact that L, or anyone for that matter, could think of any aspect of him a less then perfect.

"But why does Light-kun pronounce his name as _Raito _then? Can he perhaps not say 'L'? the detective asked boredly.

Light glared at L.

"Why are you asking _me _if I can say 'L', you're the one calling yourself _Eru_!"

"I am merely speaking with a Japanese accent, Light-kun. I have however, as I told you before, lived in England and speak English like an Englishman."

The teen decided that this was a good time to start ignoring the detective. Instead of bickering, he wanted to figure out what L could have meant. Thoughtfully, he started writing the english prenounciation of his name on a piece of paper.

_Y...A.G...A.M.I._

_Yagami._

What was wrong with that? It was just a normal name, nothing extraordinary about it. Except that it was _his_ name, of course.

Yagami. Yagami. Ya-ga-mi. Yu-gi-oh? No, he doubted L was trying to compare him to an anime, that would be stupid.

"Figured it out yet?"

Light jumped at the sound of L's voice, almost dropping his pen in the process.

"Shut up!" he hissed.

"I will take that as a no, Light-kun still doesn't know the hidden meaning in his surname." L stated matter-of-factly.

What was he saying? What was he _doing_? Was L trying to be playful? Even if it was hidden behind cryptic (and unnerving) statements, Light decided that yes, L was trying to joke around.

Deciding to humor him, the teen continued to think. Maybe Yagami was a word in English! Or Latin. Or Spanish. Or ancient Greek.

Shit! It could mean anything! No, L had said that it was in English. English, English, English. Hmm...

"Try reversing it."

Light startled again, this time actually dropping the pen, sending it flying across the floor.

"Stop _doing _that! And I can figure this out by my self!"

"Whatever you say, Light-kun," L sighed, leaving Light to figure it out..

_Yagami_. Reversed, it was _Imagay._ Imag ay. Im a gay. _I'm a gay._

"Hey!" Light flew up from his seat and roughly yanked L over, almost causing the other man to fall flat on his face. That bastard...

"I see Light-kun has figured it out." L stated calmly, causing Lights anger to soar.

"How dare you!" he hissed, grabbing hold of the mans shirt.

"Light-kun is over reacting. Maybe he was something to hide."

"I'm not over reacting! AND I AM NOT GAY!"

As the room fell silent, Light realized that he had screamed that last part out loud and now had the attention of the entire task force. Soichiro gaped, Mogi and Aizawa looked shocked and Matsuda looked as if he was about to burst out laughing at any moment. Light coughed awkwardly.

"Erhm..." heat was rapidly rising to his face and he shifted uncomfortably under all of the older mens gazes.

"Light-kun."

That was it, L really wanted to kill him. Or drive him insane. Why else would the man feel the need to speak _now?_

"_Yes _Ryuzaki." he forced through gritted teeth, surprised that he hadn't lashed out at L yet.

"I never once stated that you were gay."

Light couldn't help it, he started banging his head against the table.

-

_Please comment^^_


	4. The joy of cherry tarts

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews/faves/alerts^^

The milkshake thing happened to me and my friend... We went to a restaurant and ordered a milkshake each. When they arrived, the watress placed both of the glasses in the middle of the table, with two straws in each one, one pointing in her direction and one in mine... yeah... I think they where implying... _something_... -.-''

Anyway, L and Lights little outing will be in two parts, the first one being their little stop at the café^^

Disclaimer: I don't own death note

-

_Poke, poke._

"'o away," Light muttered, not opening his eyes.

_Poke, poke._

He shifted, but didn't get up.

_Poke, poke._

Giving in, Light finally cracked his eyes open and was met by two, hauntingly dark orbs.

"Aaagh!" he let out a yelp, almost falling out of the bed.

"Light-kun is very jumpy in the mornings," observed L, looking down at the erratic-breathing Light.

"Geez Ryuzaki, you almost gave me a heart-attack!"

"The chances of that happening are less then 0,12 percent. But that would clear all suspicion of you being Kira, since I would have to assume it was his doing. Though it would be rather unfortunate..." L trailed of thoughtfully

"It's a figure of speech, idiot!" Light hissed, resisting the urge to launch a pillow at the aggravating detective. Instead, he decided to crawl back under the blanket.

"I have come to announce an outing," L stated, ignoring the insult and tugging at the material Light was hiding under. "If Light-kun does not get up and get dressed now, he will be forced out on the streets in his pajamas."

Light perked up. "Were going out?"

"Sadly, yes. Watari said that we would, and i quote, 'wilder into skeletal piles of nothing', end quote, should we not reach the out door sunlight soon. There will be a marked nearby today and Watari has offered to drive. I have already accepted his offer, so we will be attending the event in a few hours."

The teen listened attentively as L spoke, crawling out from his den of blankets. He was actually rather happy to take a break from the Kira investigation, but then something hit him.

"Ryuzaki, what about the chain?" asked Light, dreading the answer.

"What about the chain?"

"Well, it's likely to attract... attention_,_" Light droned.

"I have already thought about that, Light-kun, but it is terribly unlikely it will compromise our safety, so the chain will remain in place."

Lights face was a mask of horror.

"But... but what if we meet someone from To-oh?"

"Then we stop and say hi."

Light face palmed.

-

Two hours later, the limo slowed to a halt in the crowded area. Light noticed that they already had the attention of virtually all the surrounding people... And they hadn't even got out of the car yet!

This was going to be a long day...

"We should go to a café first," stated L.

Light hurriedly struggled out of his seat, not wanting his arm to be pulled out of joint by the impatient man on the other side of the chain.

"Dare I ask why?" the teen droned, trying, and failing, to ignore the staggering whispers and stares from the random people passing as the chain came into view.

"Because I'm hungry," L said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Actually, Light reasoned, L probably thought it _was_. He always got what he wanted, why would now be any different?

"Where do you suggest we go?" Light lazily asked, not really wanting to stay out in the ope for to long.

"There is a place around here that do good milkshakes, Light-kun. I would like to go there."

Light let L lead the way though the gigantic mob of mumbling people. Did they seriously not have anything better to talk about? Was it really that uncommon to see two fully grown men walk down the street chained together?

...Don't answer that.

The teen tried not to flush as his ears caught up with what some of the people where saying.

"Look at them two! I wonder what else they use the chain for?"

"I bet the baggy-eyed one doesn't want his pet to run away."

"Shame 'bout the chain, can't really approach 'em now, can you? Oh, And that brunet looked damn hot!"

"Isn't it revolting how they go about, flaunting their little games to us?"

Jut ignore them. Pretend they aren't making assumptions. Tune them out. Just ignore them. Think about something else. _Just ignore them. _Just–

_Damn it,_ why wasn't it working?

"We have reached our destination, Light-kun!" L cheerily announced, sounding suspicouly like a GPS. At least Light had a chance to _actually _tune the whispers out. The café seemed nice enough, if slightly outdated. It was fresh though, with several pot plants neatly lined up along the wooden exterior.

L quickly led them over to the table, swiping up a menu in the process. Light plonked down on his chair, staring at nothing in pericular as he waited for L to choose what he wanted. He caught site of a tiny grain of dust and let his eyes follow the little fragment. Ah, just look at it float, care-free little thing. If only he had been as lucky...

"What does Light-kun wish to eat?"

Light startled violently, almost falling out of his chair.

"Huh?" he muttered intelligently, stifling the blush he could feel creeping up on his cheeks.

"What does Light-kun wish to eat?" L repeated.

"Erhm... I'm fine. I'll just watch you eat."

"Light-kun successfully managed to creep me out."

The teen ignored him and went back to watching dust.

_Because that's so much more fun, _a sarcastic voice within Lights head nagged.

He decided to ignore that to.

It was at that moment the waitress decided to make her appearance. Batting her eyelashes, she leaned a little to close _to_ Light, pointedly ignoring the other man.

"What could I get for you today?" she asked, her voice sweeter then one of L's strawberry cheesecakes.

"One banana split, one cherry tart and one large vanilla milkshake, waitress-san."

It was L who had spoken. The dark-haired woman seemed slightly annoyed that Light hadn't replied to her, but jotted down the order nevertheless.

"Your food will only be a minute sirs."

And in the blink of an eye, the girl was gone.

"She seemed to like you," L observed, earning himself a glare from Light.

"I could tell," he muttered under his breath. They sat in silence for a while, none of them able to think of anything to say. Eventually, the waitress returned, breaking the rather awkward silence that lay between them.

"Who wanted the banana split?" she asked, the sugar-coated voice still in-place.

"That would be me, waitress-san," L said, lifting a hand in a weird gesture to show who had spoken. Light rolled his eyes.

"And your milkshake..." she said, placing the large creation in the center of the table, between the two men. Light eyed the sugar-filled... _thing _on the table. Hang on... _w__hy_ was it in the middle? Why wasn't it next to L? And _why _where there _two _straws, one pointing in _his _direction!?

L seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "Light-kun, I think she has misunderstood our relationship."

"Wow, amazing deductive skills, genius," Light huffed, "Seriously though, she shouldn't even be able to see the chain right now! Do I _look_ gay, or is she just annoyed that you interrupted her when she was talking to me?"

"..." L shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Ryuzaki?"

"I think it is the former option. That and the fact she thinks I ordered your food, hence why the tart is in front of you."

"What, wen did she put that there," Light then realized what L had said, "WHAT? You think I look GAY?"

And just like that, the two had all the eyes from everyone in the room focused upon them. Or everyone who hadn't already been staring at L's strange way of sitting. Light blushes furiously, glaring daggers at L.

"Maybe not, I just think you hold some effeminate traits," L said, devouring his banana split like there was no tomorrow.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Light yelled, not caring about the people observing any more.

"Well, there is the fact that you spend half of your life looking in the mirror. You spend half a fortune on hair- and skincare products, you use nail polish–"

"It's a protective gloss!" Light hissed, but L pretended he hadn't heard him.

"You don't eat junk food, just so you can maintain your figure, you scream in a very high pitched voice, your exceedingly neat, and finally, there is your surname," L paused briefly, "could Light-kun kindly pass me my tart?"

Light looked at L, looked down at the tart, picked the treat up, and, without blinking, smacked it into L's face.

Light smiled victoriously.

L was not amused.

-

_Part two will be up soon^^_


	5. Yuri, yaoi and rants

Disclaimer: I don't own death Note

-

"That was extremely immature, not to mention a waste of good food."

Light didn't reply.

"I think I still have cake in my hair! You should be glad that the waitress didn't mind cleaning your mess up," L continued.

This was the first time Light had _ever _heard L rant, but it was getting old fast and had given up on listening. Instead, he was leaving the man to it and scanning all the market stalls, looking for something that might catch his attention. Maybe he should find a CD, or a movie... he needed something entertaining, L was really starting to bore him to death!

He found what he wanted.

"Look Ryuzaki, a manga stall!" he exclaimed, interrupting L mid-rant. Pushing through the crowd of people, he dragged L over to one of the shelves.

"Oh, this one looks good," Light exclaimed, picking one of the mangas.

"Light-kun, I do not think you should consider buying that one."

"Why not? Look at the art work!" Light opened the book at a random page, but froze.

"Thats why," muttered L, looking away.

Light dropped the book like he had been burnt and took a quick step back. Oh god, those images where going to be forever engraved in his head! The art work in the manga was indeed very detailed, which was great...

If only it hadn't been an extreamly hardcore guy on guy pornographic manga.

"So... Yaoi, huh?" A random man behind Light snickered. The teen turned around and almost bumbed into the smirking salesman. The teen shot him a deadly glare and proceeded to drag L away from the stall.

Why was this happening to him? Did the world feel the need to rub his supposed-maybe-gayness in his face?

They had finally maneged to fight their way through another part of the crowd and were now a good twenty metres away from the stall. Light slowed to a halt, glad to be able to get out of another embarrasing situation. He seemed to be bumping into a lot of those lately...

"I do not appreciate being pulled around like a pet on a leash, Light-kun," L grumbled.

"Shut up. I can't believe that happened! I can't believe _you _didn't stop me!"

"I tried to."

"Oh, be quiet," Light muttered.

"What does Light-kun wish to do now?"

"I don't know, kill every one who is staring at us right now," Light huffed under his breath, to low for said people to hear.

"Up 3,7 percent."

Light leaned forward, his nose almost brushing against L's. "You know what, Ryuzaki? I care," he held his thumb and index finger close together, indicating a small measure of distance, "this much about your percentages right now."

L pulled back from Lights face. "No need to get so close, Light-kun," he muttered, only slightly embarrassed.

"Well, at least this day can't get any wor– Oh, my god! It's Yuri!" Light yelled suddenly. L started coughing on thin air. Unable to supply his lungs with oxygen, the detective started flailing his arms violently, turning a startling shade of red. Reluctantly, Light started tapping him on the back in an attempt to clear his airways.

More people started staring at them.

_Why. Must. They. Stare?_

"Light-kun, I do not see why you see the need to point out lesbian mangas when you only one moment ago had a yaoi–"

"No, not yuri, _Yuri!_," Light hissed, as if that would clear everything up.

It didn't.

"My ex," Light clarified. "I was going to go to _Spaceland_ with her a while ago, but something weird happened and our date got canceled. I never called her back and if she sees me now, she'll ask why I didn't and get all clingy and see the chain and make assumptions..."

"Light-kun is rambling," notified L helpfully. Light closed his mouth.

"Why didn't Light-kun call her back?" the detective inquired.

"I don't know! Oh no, she's coming this way. No, no, no..." Light muttered, trying to get away.

But it was to late.

They had been spotted.

"L_iiiii_ght-kun!"

The squeal somewhat reminded him of Misa's.

Oh, no...

She had reached them now and was beaming at Light, expecting him to greet her.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, trying to hide his cuffed hand. She hadn't seemed to have noticed it yet.

"Oh, Light-kun, It was ages ago we spoke! What have you been up to?" Yuri asked, smiling brightly.

Light opened his mouth to speak, but for some reason, L felt the need to answer for him. "Light-kun and I have been investigating things together."

Light cleared his throat.. "What he means is that have joined the NPA. We are colleagues and have been working on the last few cases together."

"So, who is this... friend of yours?" Yuri asked, eying the chain critically.

"Ryuga Hideki," Light informed. "Ryuga, this is Yuri-chan."

The two greeted each other rather awkwardly. A few moments of silence followed, before the girl decided to speak.

"So... whats with the chain?"

_Oh, of all the questions she had to ask...._

Once again, L felt the need to answer in Lights place. "We are participating in something that forces us to wear handcuffs at all times." L stated.

Yuri's eyes widened to the size of saucepans and she looked mildly terrified.

Light pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Did L have to phrase it like _that?!

"We are involved in a scientific study," Light covered smoothly.

Fore some reason, the girl did not look convinced.

This was definitely one of the most humiliating days Light had ever experienced in his life and wished he hadn't bothered to get up that morning.

He also wished he could crawl into a hole and die and escape this conversation.

He wandered if wishing something like that was a bad thing.

-

"Never again," Light hissed, "will I go outside whilst this chain is in place. No. Way. In. Hell. You got that?"

"Light-kun has been bitching about not wanting to go out again since we arrived back home. I have understood now," L droned, keeping his eyes on the computer screen.

"I can't believe you persuaded me to go out with _this_!" he held up his cuffed wrist to clarify his point.

"Watari thought it would be beneficial to our health."

"Well it wasn't. I could have died from to much blood rushing to my head!"

"That would be unlikely," L was barely listening, just giving his input were it was needed.

"And why did you have to talk to Yuri like that?"

"I was merely responding to her questions."

"But did you have to say it all like that?"

"Like what?"

Light scowled. "You know... the _way_ you answered. It could easily be... _misinturpetated._"

"I have no idea what Light-kun is speaking about."

It was official: Light hated everyone.


	6. Hair today, gone tomorrow

_Disclaimer: don't own Death note_

-

"–And then he was all 'Matsuda, get out!' and I was all, 'but Takashi, I love you', and he was like 'I'm sorry Mutsu, It's not me, it's you. No, that's not right... it's not you, it's me' and then he just left and I was all crying and begging but he still left! And that's how I broke up with my first boyfriend."

Light felt like slamming his head against the table. Matsuda had been telling him his life-story for the past hour – and Light had no idea why! The klutz had just walked up to him out of the blue and started rambling on. And on. And on. And on.

And on!

He just wouldn't shut up!

"That's all very sad, but I really need to get to w–"

"And then there was my second boyfriend," Matsuda continued, completely ignoring Light, "He was really nice! I loved him so much... But one day I came home early and he was screwing this other man on the couch. I said I was willing to forgive him but he was all 'I'm sorry, I don't love you, I was just using you to get back with my boyfriend..."

The man looked near tears now. Light sighed internally.

_'Why do I always end up dealing with him?'_

"I'm really sorry about that Matsuda but–"

"And then–"

_'Don't get mad. Don't get mad. Don't get mad...' _the teen chanted internally, trying to keep his cool.

"Then there was my third boyfriend. You kind of remind me of him, the same temper... anyway–"

_Eye. Twitch!_

"He was nice to, but he was into BDSM and I don't really like being–"

"Matsuda!" Light yelled, "_Shut_ up! I'm_ working_!"

The goof blinked. "Ah, of course! Sorry, Yagami-kun!" Matsuda proceeded to giggle nervously and stumbled of.

Light breathed a sigh of relief and sunk back into his chair.

"Light-kun doesn't enjoy talking to Matsuda-san," L observed suddenly.

"He's not all bad," Light muttered, "at least not when he's quiet. I have no wish to hear details about his sex life!"

L rolled his eyes.

"So, what are we doing today then?" the teen asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"What does Light-kun mean by that?"

"Well, we haven't done anything in ages."

"We went to a marked yesterday," L pointed out. Light shuddered at the memory.

"Not that, something _fun_! That won't end in disaster!" Light exclaimed.

"Everything Light-kun does is deemed to end in disaster."

Light blinked. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The detective blinked back. "It means what Light-kun wants it to mean."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Light-kun's face doesn't make any sense," L muttered maturely.

The teen gasped. "Oh, no you didn't!"

Without warning, Light lunged for the detective.

_Crash!_

Light landed on the unprepared L, sending them both crashing to the ground, Light sprawled across the detectives chest. L had somehow managed to twist his arms and they were tangled in the chain above his head.

L, who didn't seem to happy being beneath the teen, started bucking his hips in an attempt to get the younger man off of him. L's squirming legs brushed against one of the bruises from one of their previous fights, causing him to hiss in pain.

To say that their position looked compromising would be an understatement.

One of the officers behind them cleared his throat.

Light blushed and quickly shifted of the detective. L saw his chance for revenge and dived over, but forgot to account for his tangled hands. The detective tried to switch the positions over, but he was unable to catch himself...

_Smooch!_

Light suddenly had L's lips pressed to his.

"Mhmmh!"

The teen struggled, but whenever he made a hasty movement, one of L's bones would get shoved into his skin. Damn that L! Damn L and his scrawny body to h–

"Maybe we should help them up," Light heard someone mutter awkwardly.

"Hmn nhm!" Light 'said', meaning 'yes, do'. However, they didn't seem to understand.

"no?" Matsuda asked, surprised.

"Hmh!" _no!_

"Yes?"

"Gmh mmn hm fmk hm, hms hmfgmm!" _get me the fuck up, this is humiliating!"_

"You want to stay like that all day?"

"Matsuda, I think Light wants to get up!"

A pair of strong arms gripped hold of Light shoulder and shoved him up rather forcefully. Light sent a silent glare in L's direction. The detective scowled.

The entire task force was staring at them, all of their faces masks of varying degrees of amusement. Except for Soichiro Yagami. He looked... Light wasn't actually sure what that expression was called, he had never seen it before.

"You are so dead," Light hissed.

"Up 7 percent."

L silenced when another death glare was sent his way.

"You better come up with something good to cheer me up!"

"I could get Watari to fix a nice dinner," L muttered in a sort-of apologetic gesture.

Well, Light reasoned, at least he wouldn't be stuck at HQ all day. And he had gotten L to do something fore him! _Score!_

-

The table was set, the candles where lit and the cloth was layed across the table. Light openly gawked at it, surprised that the detective actually had meant it when he said he would get Watari to fix them a nice meal.

"If Light-kun would wipe the drool of the side of his face, maybe we could take a seat," droned L sarcastically.

The snide remark did not go down well.

"I was not _drooling! _I never _drool_, that would be revolting!" Light hissed.

"Light-kun's soaked pillow covers beg to differ."

Light made a dive for L, but missed.

_Crash!  
_

He flew headfirst into the table.

His hair came to close to one of the candles and caught fire.

Light panicked.

"Ryuzaki! My hair! My _hair!_"

"Stay still, Light-kun!"

"It's on fire! I'll go bald! I'll be ugly! No guy–g_irls_ will like me!"

He was flailing his arms violently, trying to extinguish the flame, but to no avail.

"Drop and roll, Light-kun!"

"It won't work! It's on my head!" His eyes were tearing now, the heat of the fire starting to burn his cheeks. "Fuck, it hurts! Make it stop!"

"I'll call Watari!"

"Hurry up!"

"I'm trying, but Light-kun's screaming is distracting!"

"But it _hurts_!"

"Stand _still _and I might be able to help!"

"Make it stop! It hurts! Ow! Ow!"

-

Luckily, Watari had been watching the security footage and had managed to save his face. However, the same couldn't be said about Light's previous flawless locks...

"My hair is ruined!" he whined. It was indeed burned, blackened at the ends ands little tufts sticking out here and there.

"Light-kun should be glad he still has his face in place."

"But I loved my hair!"

"I'm sure Light-kun will survive."

"I look like a bear!"

"Bears are nice."

"My hair isn't!"

"Watari has called a hairdresser that is very good. She should arrive later this evening. I am sure she will be able to restore Light-kun's hair to its former glory."

"Mph."

"Light-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Down 3 percent for clumsy behavior."

"Shut. Up."

"Light-kun?"

"_Yes?_"

"I told you today would end in disaster."

Light glared.

L decided to never have lit candles around people prone to violence again.


	7. Never speak too soon

Disclaimer: I don't own death note.

-

Light flipped his hair, glad to have it back. He wasn't really sure what the hairdresser had done, but it was now back to its smooth, shiny self. Light had no idea how, but the lady had even managed to restore it's length! She must have used some sort of miracle grow....

Well. At leassomething_ good _had happened that day. Which reminded him...

"Hey... Ryuzaki?"

L looked up. "What is it, Light-kun?"

Light fidgeted a little, shifting his wait nervously. "Well, you know how bad and or embarrassing things seem to happen all the time?"

L nodded.

"It's just that... nothing bad has happened today, it's kind of unnerving..." Light trailed of thoughtfully.

"Does Light-kun wish for something bad to happen?" asked L, amusement tainting his voice.

"No, no, of course not! But everything seems to be going to well. The task force are out eating dinner and will be back later, all the work has ran smoothly, heck, Matsuda even called in sick today! It just seems to good to be true!"

"I think Light-kun is overgeneralizing this."

"No, really! Something bad always happens! I'll either embarrass myself or you'll do something weird!"

"I do not think you need to worry about that anymore, as you have successfully managed to humiliate yourself, Light-kun."

"Not like that! You know what I mean! And _stop saying _my name over and over again!"

"I apologize. I shall stop referring to Light-kun as Light-kun and instead use something else when speaking. Does Tsuki-kun sound better?"

Lights eye twitched. L _knew _he hated it when people misread his kanji! He knew!

"Tsuki-kun needs to stop rambling about nonsense and get back to work," L stated matter-of-factly.

More eye twitching.

"Tsuki-kun should get someone to take a look at that eye. It seems to be doing that a lot recently. If it continues, it could strain and Tsuki-kun would need glasses."

A Stearn, heart-stopping, nightmare-inducing death glare of eternal doom made L shut his mouth rather quickly.

_Silence_.

They sat for a while, both focusing on the case, but Light soon felt the need to speak.

"How long do you think we can keep this up?"

"Hmm? What does Tsuki-kun mean?"

Light grit his teeth, ignoring his 'knew name'.

"I mean, the no-bad-things thingy."

"Is thingy really a word?"

"Yes!" Light hissed.

"Is Tsuki-kun sure?"

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Stop saying that. It is not my name."

L pouted.

More silence.

The clock ticked by.

"I'm hungry!" L suddenly announced. Light gave him a questioning glance.

"So...?"

"We shall eat now, _Light_-kun!"

Light sighed. "But what about the rest of the task force? We were supposed to wait until they got back, someone should remain here at all times, you said so yourself!"

"Exactly, _I _said so. I just made that rule so no one leaves while we are eating."

"Oh."

Light reluctantly followed as L got up from his chair and shuffled towards the lift. The detective reached out a pale finger and pressed the button. The pair stood in a comfortable silence as they waited for the lift to arrive.

Lights attention started to drift elsewhere and he picked back on one of his favorite hobbies: dust-watching! Seriously, it was relaxing, watching the featherly light things swim across the air without a worry in the world.

_Pliing_

"Agh!" Light jumped at the sound of the lifts bell, announcing that it had arrived.

"Light-kun screams whenever he is surprised or scared," L observed.

"So?"

"Down 1,4 percent."

Light looked mildly insulted. "Why?"

"Because it is unlikely that Kira would scream a lot, but Light-kun screams whenever he is startled."

Light muttered something insulting under his breath. Sure, he was glad his percentages had gone down, but did he have to make it sound like he was a pansy?

The lift gave a light shudder as it started to move. Light watched the small arrow travel up along as they passed another floor, but suddenly, the lift gave a powerful jolt and froze.

The teen stared at the now-stilled arrow in horror.

No, no, no no, no....

"Ryuzaki... don't tell me the lift just got stuck."

"Then I shall remain silent."

"This is what I meant when I said bad stuff always happens!"

"Light-kun is being ridiculous. This is merely coincidental."

"No it isn't!"

"Maybe you suffer from bad Karma, Light-kun."

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Please be quiet and think of a way to get us out of here."

"There is no way out. We will have to either use the emergency button or wait for it to start working again."

Light strode across the ground and pressed the button, ignoring L's complaints about being dragged about with no warning.

"How long will it be before help arrives?"

"I have no idea."

"Come on, you must have some idea!"

"It should not be too long, I left Watari in charge of surveillance. He is probably watching us now."

Light shot the monitors an unnerved glance. Normally, he would try not to think about the fact that he was constantly being observed, because whenever he thought about it, he would feel wary.

The teen started tapping his foot impatiently.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Why is it taking so long?"

"We have only been in here for four minutes and fifty-seven seconds."

"oh"

Light continued to tap his foot.

_Tap, tap tap..._

"Light-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Could you cease the tapping? It is becoming irritating."

Light was just about to come with some snide remark, but the lift gave a sudden jolt and came to life before the teen had time to speak.

They stood in silence until the lift finally stopped at the right floor. The pair proceeded into the kitchen, L heading straight for the refrigerator. Light watched as L pulled out a carton of milk and, without blinking, started pouring it down his throat. The teen wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"At least use a glass," he muttered.

L paused, glancing over to the teen. "I do not see the need to use a drinking utensil when this is working just fine.

_And there he goes with the freaky speech again..._

"But it's unhygienic to drink it like that!"

"Seeing as I am the only one who drinks milk here, I do not see a problem with it."

"Just put the milk down!" Light hissed, making a move for the carton. L dodged, but moved to fast.

_Splash_

Light was covered from head to toe in milk.

_Why. Me?_

He blinked slowly, taking deep breaths to stop himself from ripping him to shreds.

"Ryuzaki," he breathed.

"Yes, Light-kun?" L must have realize along what murderous lines Light was thinking, because he looked ready to snap the chain and flee the room.

"You got milk in my newly-cut hair and ruined my clothes," he said calmly, emphasizing every word.

"That was not my intention."

Light suppressed the urge to glare and instead sighed in aspiration. "Can't we just go before something else happens? Grab a cake, pass our room so I can get changed and then get back to work?"

"I suppose we could do that."

L grabbed his cake and started walking lazily towards the lift, but Light stopped him.

"There is no way I'm going in there, not after it stopped the last time."

"Does Light-kun have a fear of lifts to now?"

"No," he hissed, "I just don't want another disaster to happen!"

"Very well, If Light-kun wishes to take the stairs, we shall do so."

Without giving L any time to protest, Light dragged him over to the stairs and started to walk down. The detective however, was not pleased.

"As I have stated previously, I do not appreciate being pulled around like a pet on a leash!" With that, L tugged, forcing Light to a halt.

Light pulled back. "Stop being so controlling!"

L yanked back again. "I am not controlling, I just like my arm in place!

_Pull. Pull. Pull. Pull._

And then L decided to end the tug-of-war and let the chain go.

Not a good decision.

Light flailed his arms wildly, but to no avail. He had been putting to much weight on the chain and now that L had let go, the teen was sent flying backwards, out of control.

Down the stairs.

_Thump!_

"Fuck –"

_Thump!_

"you –"

_Thump!_

"Ryu–"

_Thump!_

"zaki!"

_Thump!_

"I–"

_Thump!_

"will–"

_Thump!_

"get–"

_Thump!_

"you–"

_Thump!_

"for–"

_Thump!_

"this!"

_Thump!_

"Up–"

_Thump!_

"two–"

_Thump!_

"Point–"

_Thump!_

"Eight–"

_Thump!_

"percent–"

_Thump!_

"Light-kun!"

_Thump!  
_

_Thud!_

The duo finally reached the bottom of the stairs, Light sprawled helplessly across the floor, L lying across his chest.

"Fuck, that hurt," muttered the teen.

"Is Light-kun okay?"

He though it over for a moment, wincing as he tried to move his arm.

"No, not really... I think I've done something with my arm, it _really _hurts. I can't move it..."

It was at that moment the task force (thankfully, minus Matsuda) decided to make their appearance. The door to the stair case opened.

"What happened? We heard someone scream and–oh!" Aizawa silenced as he toke in the scene, L seemingly pushing Light to the ground whilst sitting on top of him. He averting his eyes awkwardly.

Light blinked at them, momentarily forgetting the pain in his arm.

_Why. Does. My. Life. Suck?_

"This," he said, "is not what it looks like."

No one looked convinced.

Light sighed.

He wished he had stayed quiet earlier, maybe then he would have at least been able to escape this last awkward disaster.


	8. Porn, snails and cows

A/N: I'm not really to pleased with this chapter... One of my cats died earlier today, so if this isn't as funny as usual, it's because I'm in a really sad mood....

_Disclaimer: _I don't own Death Note. I _do _however, own Choc-hoe-late Mello, who will be making a guest appearance later on! Yayz ;)

-

"I can't believe you _broke _my arm."

L glanced up from his thick, raven fringe.

"I believe it was Light-kun who broke his own arm."

"You squished me!"

"There is a 96,2 percent chance that Light-kun fractured his arm on his way the way down the stairs and only a 3,8 percent chance I actually caused the breakage when I landed."

Light sighed, feeling miserable. They were in the medical floor of the building and Watari had just finished attending to his arm, after he had confirmed that it was broken. His _right _arm, damn it! How was he supposed to work now? Sure, he could type with one hand, but not with the stupid cuff! L was always using both hands, eating his junk and whatnot and every time the detective pulled to hard on the chain, Lights hand would follow right along!

At least it was a clean break and he would be able to remove the cast in about three weeks.

Not that that was helping is mood.

"Light-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"I am beginning to see a few difficulties concerning our arrangement under these new circumstances."

_Wow, genius!_

"Such as...?"

"Showering will be a problem, as will eating, writing, getting dressed...I think Light-kun gets the picture."

Light did indeed get the picture.

_Shit! _This was going to be so awkward!

"I hope Light-kun will except my help in performing some his every day tasks."

The teen nodded numbly. This was going to be hell..

-

"Yagami-kun! What happened to your arm? Does it hurt?"

"No, Matsuda, I just put a cast on my arm for fun, because I'm really random like that."

Matsuda looked mildly perplexed. "Why would you do something like that?"

Light sighed. Did Matsuda seriously not understand the wonderful world of sarcasm? Before Light had time to tell Matsuda that he was just joking, the ditz had walked up to him.

And that was when Matsuda yanked hold of Light, intending to take a closer look.

"But wow though, it really looks rea– "

"Ow! _Ow_!" Light viciously tugged his arm away from the man, swearing under his breath. That _really _hurt!

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I thought you were being serious!"

_Oh, for the love of–_

"Matsuda-san should refrain from touching Light-kun in the future, as it would be unfortunate if he should re-fracture the bone.

Light took a deep breath, the throbbing of his arm finally starting to ebb away.

"So, what did happen to your arm?" Matsuda asked, looking as guilty as a puppy that had just eaten the Christmas dinner.

"Ryuzaki broke it." Light ignored the glare that was sent his way.

"Anyway, I'm sorry about your arm... Maybe I should take a loo–"

"NO! No, I'll be fine! just don't ever.... touch it again." _No way I'm letting you anywhere near my arm ever again, mister!_

Soichiro Yagami had already been informed about his sons injury, since he had been the one who had helped the duo to Watari. To say that he was furious about the situation would be an understatement, Light considered L lucky to actually have his face intact.

The auburn haired teens eyes shifted across the other detectives in the room and he tried not to feel self-conscious as he sat down at his desk. He sighed again. He couldn't do any proper work because of his arm, so he would just have to sitt there _all day!_

This was going to be boring. His eyes flickered around the room in an attempt to find something intresting, but he had no luck. He decided to try to strike a conversation with L.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Hm?" L didn't look up from his computer.

"What is your favorite colour?"

"I have no prefarences in colour Light-kun, as I like to remain indifferent as much as I can. I find 'favorite colours'," he did airquotations at this, still not looking up from his work, "extremly pointless."

"Oh."

_Way to kill the mood._

"Do you have any favorite animal then?"

"I like cows."

Light rose his eyebrows in surprise. He honestly thought L would have answer pandas, for obvious reasons.

"Cows?"

"Cows," L confirmed boredly.

"But... why?"

"Without cows, there would be no milk and therefore no icecream, cake, chocolate or buttercream."

Light blinked.

"I also like their colouring," the detective added thoughfully. "As Light-kun is insisting with these questions, I would like to ask him the same thing. What animal does Light-kun favor the most?"

"hm.. I think I would have to say snails, because they are so practical, carrying their homes around like that. Their eyes are kind of cool, to!"

L finally looked up from his screan. "Down 5 percent for simplemindedness. His percentages seem to be dropping rappidly because of stupidity."

Light wasn't sure wether to be infuriated or happy. He seattled for neither and went back to doing nothing.

Time ticked by.

It got boring quickly.

L turned away from his computer to do some paperwork, so Light decided to take the opertunity to look through the Kira files. He then realized that the detective had been careless and forgotten to sign out from his e-mail account. Knowing that he shouldn't do it wasn't enough to stop the teen from opening up the page.

_You have one unread mail_

Light pondered for a moment. Should he open it? He _wanted _to open it, but L would be beyond pissed if he caught him. But seeing as he had attached them both 24/7, it was only fair that Light got to read the e-mail. If Light had to loose his privecy, so did L!

But... What if it was important! He glanced down to see who had sent the message.

_Sender: Choc-hoe-late Mello_

What?

_The _Choc-hoe-late Mello? As in the yaoi _Porn star _Choc-hoe-late Mello? Light had heard of him! He was one of the most famous gay porn stars around! But why would L be e-mailing him? He wasn't into stuff like that! He couldn't be!

...Could he? Could one of the most respected men on the planet _really _be in contact with C_hoc-hoe-late Mello_?

The teen decided to find out for himself.

"Ryuzaki?"

The detective looked up.

"Yes? Is Light-kun bored? If he wishes, I could find him something to do."

"No, I'm fine, I just have a question... Who is Mello?"

L's eyes narrowed dangerously and Light flinched internally, this was the closest display of emotion he had ever seen the detective display. Maybe this was one of L's dirty little secrets, so secret that even Watari didn't know and now Watari could find out by watching the surveillance footage and listening to their coversation!

"How does Light-kun know Mello?"

_How can a monotone sound so threatening?_

"How do _you _know Mello?" Light threw back, "And don't deny it! How else would you explain having a porn star on your e-mail contact list?"

L blinked. "...what?"

"Don't play dumb! You just received and e-mail from _the _Choc-hoe-late Mello! How do you explain _that?_"

"How does Light-kun know of my e-mail?"

"That isn't important!" Light exclaimed. "Why do you write to that man-whore?"

L stared up at Light with huge, blank eyes. The teen stared back.

"I think there is a misunderstanding here, Light-kun."

"There is no misunderstanding! Everyone who has ever watched a guy on guy porno knows who _Mello _is and _you _have a message from him!"

"Light-kun, the Mello you are speaking of and the Mello I know are to separate people.

The teens mind went blank. "Huh?"

"I have no connections with Light-kun's Mello."

"But...eh..."

"I will ignore the fact that Light-kun invaded my privacy if he passes me my laptop."

Light glared at L and then to his arm. The detective sighed and moved over to where the teen was sitting.

"Please turn away from the computer screen so I can read my message in peace."

Light complied and waited while L skimmed the file over, but couldn't help feeling rather awkward after his outburst. He desperately hoped no one else in the task force rambling on about Mello... How would he explain that to his father...

"Hmm... It seems I have a lot to think about"

Light turned back to L. "What?"

"I am not sure how to proceed, Light-kun."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"There is an urgent situation were I am needed as soon as possible."

"More urgent then Kira?" Light asked, disbelief tainting his voice.

"I am afraid so, but I am not sure what to do with you..." L trailed of thoughtfully.

The teen was really intrigued now. "What's going on?"

"I am afraid that I can not tell a potential Kira-suspect this information."

Involuntary hurt flickered across Lights face before he had time to stop it. "So it has to do with Kira then? Because if it has anything to do with Kira, we need the information to help solve the case."

"They have nothing to do with Kira."

"They?" Was L loosing his mind?

"I have said to much. I will think of what to do with this situation. In the meantime, Maybe Light-kun would enjoy a game of chess?"

"No, what are you going on about?"

"If Light-kun persists with his questions I will raise his percentages again."

The teen shut his mouth.

"I will repeat, does Light-kun want to play chess?"

"Sure." He was about to move over to the chessboard, but L stopped him.

"Since I answered two of Light-kuns questions earlier, would he care to answer one of mine?"

"I guess so."

"If Choc-hoe-late Mello only stared in homosexualpornographic movies," L said slowly, "how did Light-kun know of his existence?"

Light winced.

Soichiro spilled his coffee.

Mogi coughed.

Aizawa almost fell over.

Matsuda looked confused.

L smirked.

The entire room fell silent. They had all heard L's words.

Light could only think of one expression that could _truly_ deliver the level of embarrassment he felt right now, with the eyes of the entire task force on him.

_Oh, Fuck!_


	9. Black, how cliché

I'm not really that pleased with this chapter... As much as I tried, it refused to come out funny! Oh well, at least the yaoi-ness is beginning to surface^^

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note

-

_Click. Click. Click._

_Sliiiiide._

_Click. Click. Click._

_Sliiiiide._

Light clicked the mechanical pencil repeatedly, watching as the led slid out through the tip, only to press it back in again. Normally, the teen would consider himself above such simplistic actions as fiddling with a pencil, but he was just so _bored_! He hadn't done anything productive all day!

It was also a way to try and ignore the strange looks he was currently receiving from his father.

_Please stop staring at med, please stop staring at me..._

From the corner of his eye, Light could see his father throwing him weird glances. He had been doing that a lot recently and it was really getting under the teens skin.

The worst thing was that he denied it when Light had questioned him! He would also turn his head away as soon as Light tried to meet his eye and catch him in action.

_I can see you staring, dad!_

It was so bothersome! It wasn't like the I-am-worried-about-you-because-you-are-suspected-to-be-one-of-the-most-dangerous-killers-off-all-time glances, it was more like a there-is-something-you-are-not-telling-me-and-I-will-reveal-your-secret glance!

...It was really starting to creep Light out.

It was probably L's fault. It always was. It was L's fault he was going insane. It was L's fault he couldn't stand to _look _at sugar cubes anymore. It was L's fault his arm was broken. Oh, and whose fault was it that he was starting to doubt his own sexuality?

_You have three guesses and I'll give you a cookie if you get it right!_

Light exhaled loudly, keeping his eyes firmly set on the wall in front. He was just about dying of boredom!

...that was L's fault to.

_Click. Click. Click._

_Sliiiiide._

_Click. Click. Click._

_Sliiiiide._

_Click. Cli–_

"Light-kun?"

The teens finger paused, looking over to L. "Yes?"

"It would be greatly beneficial for my concentration if Light-kun would cease his finger-games with the pen. It is disturbing to watch and listen to."

Light started coughing violently at L's wording, lodging a mouthful of saliva in his throat. Colour started building across the teens face and he was already an alarming shade of red.

"Is Light-kun in need of aiding?"

Light tried to answer that _yes, he did need help, or else he would suffocate, _but only started coughing more and more violently at each intake of breath, sending tremors through is body.

"I will take that as a yes."

L started thumping Lights back, only causing him to cough even harder. His lungs were screaming for oxygen now and he could vaguely make out L's monotone, asking someone in the task force for help.

The coughs were growing more shaky, desperate, before they finally ceased, but the teen still couldn't breathe. His vision started to grow foggy and he was unable to keep his head up any longer.

_Damn it, I'm going to suffocate on my own saliva!_

Light vaguely noted that he was going to die the most degrading death in human history, before his vision blurred and he fell unconscious to the floor.

-

It was dark. Not dark as in soulless, empty blackness, but as the absence of light.

((Light-kun?))

It was colourless, the teen noted with slight disgust. Not that he minded darkness, but it was rather... tasteless. Would a splash of blue and a jot of red really hurt that much? Black was just so cliché... Why couldn't unconsciousness be green... that would be cool.

((Light-kun))

He was aware that he was thinking and thought it rather odd that he wasn't waking.

((Light-kun?))

Who was it that kept calling his name? Couldn't they see he was busy?

((Light-kun?))

Black was nice in some ways though. His laptop was black. He had a black t-shirt that looked great on him. L's hair was black. His eyes were black to...

Wait, _what_?

((Light-kun?))

...Why did he get a feeling that his nap was going to be interrupted _very_ soon?

He became aware of a pair of hands ghosting over his form, shaking his frame.

"Light-kun?"

Light opened an eye, but flinched as the brightness of one of the lamps almost blinded him. He would have to get L to get dimmed ones. The illuminating bulbs were suddenly shaded by a mop of dark hair.

For once, Light actually managed not to scream.

"How is Light-kun feeling?"

He thought for a moment. "Miserable."

"I am sad to hear. Though I think Light-kun would be happy to know that I managed to catch him before he crushed his injured hand against the floor," L said, looking like he was expecting a strawberry for his accomplishment.

"My hero," came the sarcastic reply. He _was thankful_, but he felt that he couldn't take much more humiliation today. Damsel in distress wasn't a role he enjoyed playing.

L decided to change subject. "While Light-kun was sleeping, I was thinking." His face inched down slightly, leaving only a few inches between them.

"What were you thinking about?" Light droned, his voice lacking enthusiasm. He was still feeling rather groggy from his time on the floor.

"Does Light-kun remember me telling him that I was needed elsewhere?"

Light nodded, flinching as he banged his head onto the tiles. He promptly got up from the floor, not wanting to spend any longer with the detective leaning over him. It made him... uncomfortable.

"I have decided what to do regarding that situation."

"Go on," the teen said, suddenly perking up.

"Before I tell Light-kun were our destination lies, I need him to give hs word that he will not ask any questions, reveal any gathered information or hurt any of the children."

"Sure, I promise. Hey, wait, _children?_"

"We are going to England."

The teen stared.

"What?"

"We will be visiting an orphanage for gifted children."

Light looked dumbstruck. "What?"

"It is situated in Winchester. We will be leaving in three days."

"What?"

"Light-kun sounds like a broken record," L observed. The teen managed to collect himself.

"But... why would we go to _England_ to visit an orphanagewhen _Kira _is on the loose?"

"That is classified information, Light-kun."

Insert eye twitch of doom here.

"You're dragging me off to England and not telling me _why?_"

"That is correct."

"You can't expect me to agree to that! It's absurd! You can't just drag me about to wherever you please! Just because I'm attached to your wrist, it doesn't make me your accessory! And making those kind of decision take time! You can't make up your mind about something like that while I'm unconscious for about two minutes!" Light ranted.

"I am afraid Light-kun has no say in this matter. And he was out for almost half an hour."

"Hmph.." the teen crossed his arms, muttering under his breath. Light suddenly came to realization. "Hey, how would we get to England, anyway?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"Flying would be the most efficient mean of traveling."

Fear shot through him quickly, shaking him to the core. No. No, no, no, _no!_ Flying meant planes, planes meant heights and heights equalled certain death!

"Is there any er... _other _ways of getting there?" he managed to force out, fighting to keep his voice even.

L's eyes narrowed. "Is there a reason Light-kun does not wish to fly?"

The teens eye started twitching like mad and he giggled nervously. "No, of course not! Whatever gave you that idea? Flying is great!"

The detectives eyes narrowed further. "I have a nagging suspicion that Light-kun is lying."

"No, planes are great! Gracious things, souring _high_ up in the air! Invincible" Light said, suppressing a shudder. L eyed him suspiciously.

"Whatever you say, Light-kun. I will figure it out eventually."

Light sighed. "What did my dad say about this, anyway?"

"I will not tell Yagami-san about our arrangements until after we have left. I feel he might try to hinder us otherwise."

Light agreed. His dad wasn't acting himself lately. Hang on, speaking of him...

"Where is dad, anyway?"

"He left, Light-kun. As did the rest of the task force. The only people remaining are you, Watari and myself."

"What? Why?"

"I asked them to leave. I thought Light-kun would appreciate some time to rest after he woke up, and doing so would be easier if the room was empty."

Light blinked in surprise. Was that... compassion_? _Coming from_ L_? Maybe he should faint more often.

Or not.

"Thanks," he muttered awkwardly. "So... what now?"

"Now, we pack."

For some reason, Light found that L's words did not bode well.


	10. Coming out of the closet

Disclaimer: I still don't own death note, but I'll let you know if anything changes!

-

L's plan of not telling Soichiro Yagami about their little trip did not go down well.

Apparently, L had forgot to tell Watari to keep his lips sealed.

…some detective he was.

"How can you expect me to agree to letting my son, _my son_, to leave with _you_ on his first time abroad?" The policeman was pointing an accusing finger at L, looking ready to tear him to pieces.

"I am afraid Yagami-san has no say in the matter. Watari has already booked the tickets."

"But we need you here! Why would we ask the legandery _L _to help us if he was going to up and leave not soon after arriving?!"

"I am needed more over there and I am sure you may benefit from this visit in the long run."

Soichiro fumed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Classified information I'm afraid."

"But... what about his innocence? You know what those britts are like, they'll be all over him!"

"_Excuse _me?" Light raged from the other side of the chain, his cheeks coloured scarlet.

"Though I must say that Yagami-san doesn't need to worry about any _girls_, I am surprised to hear that Light-kun is a _virgin._" L asked, clearly amused.

Soichiro gaped at L, but the brunet glared.

"I'm not in the mood to discuss my sexual relations in front of the hole task force, but I'd like to point out that I'm not the one who is in my _mid-twenties _and never slept with anyone."

"Light-kun should know that I have indeed have had sexual intercourse with someone," L retorted smugly, taking note of the fact that Light hadn't said anything about his obvious hint.

"Don't put it like _that!_" Light scowled. "And what did you do to make someone sleep with you? Did you blind her or something?"

"Light-kun is assuming it was a girl."

"Shouldn't I be?" he questioned.

"Actually not."

Light fell silent, but the rest of the task force continued on as normal, used to the pairs constant bickers by now. Even Soichiro Yagami gave up, knowing that the upcoming fight would be to bothersome to get involved in.

"You're.. you're _gay_? And you've been _handcuffed _to me?" Light exclaimed, outraged.

"I believe what I am is called bisexual, Light-kun."

"But the cameras in my house! This... Oh my god, I bet I supplied you with enough to jerk-off to for the rest of eternity!"

"Although I must say Light-kun has a very attractive body, I have not used his images to–"

"Don't say it!" Light hissed, lifting his cuffed arm. "You know what? I'm going to pretend this conversation never happened, walk off into our room and pack. Actually, you have to help me, I won't be able to fold my stuff. Come along." Light was very, _very _tempted to ad _'Fido' _to the end of his rant, but refrained.

With a surprisingly cool composure, Light strutted out of the room, L following silently.

-

"I want that one as well," the brunet said, gesturing towards a red shirt in their closet. L sighed.

"Light-kun has already packed a shirt which is identical to this one."

"No I haven't," the teen scoffed. "The one you just packed was crimson. That one's scarlet."

"There is no difference. It is just another way for the fashion industry to lure in simple-minded customers," the dark eyed detective stated, causing Light to send him an icy glare.

"I am not simple minded. Besides, the style is different. If you hold both of them up, you'll see that the details on the crimson ones buttons have small carvings. It's also a little closer cut to the body, better for late nights and clubbing. The scarlet one is slightly more casual," Light stated smugly.

L blinked. "That was pure and utter nonsense, Light-kun."

"Was not!"

"Was to."

"You're just jealous that I have an amazing ability to chose out the right clothes for the right occasion. Unlike _some,_" he huffed.

L glanced down at his outfit. "My clothes are more practical then Light-kun's."

"Practical for what exactly? Crawling around on the floor?"

"Precisely."

The teen exhaled slowly. "Can't you just pack the shirt, please?"

L wordlessly stuffed it into Lights (enormous) suitcase.

"Not like that!" Light exclaimed in horror once he realized what L was doing. "You have to _fold _it! Otherwise it will get all creased."

L glanced up from his packing. "Light-kun is vain. If he wishes for first-class packing, he should do it himself."

Light glared. L repacked the shirt neatly.

"What else does Light-kun wish for me to pack for him?"

"Hmm..." the teen thought for a moment, before pointing at a cream sweater. "That one."

It could have been a trick of the light, but the brunet was _sure _he saw the corner of L's eye jerk slightly.

"Light-kun has already packed _four sweaters._"

"They're all different! Besides, you weren't sure how long we would be gone! I don't want to be stuck in the cold if we happen to be away for long!"

"But I can get Watari to clean Light-kun's clothing! He does not need to pack so much!"

"Watari is not your slave!" Light hissed. "Do you have to treat him that way?"

L scowled. "Light-kun's obsessiveness with clothing is raising his Kira percentages."

"Don't start!" the brunet muttered. "Every person on earth, except for you, care for their appearances to some degree. I'm not starting a fight over nothing."

L looked just about ready to pout and Light suppressed a victory grin. Getting all smug wouldn't help him that much.

The two remained silent for a while, Light pointing out what clothes he wanted and L stuffing them in the suitcase.

"Light-kun?" The insomniac broke the silence.

Light looked up. "Hmm?"

"Could you go and stand in there please?" asked L, gesturing towards the closet. The Kira suspect furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Why would I do that?"

"Light-kun should not question my orders."

The teen sighed in annoyance, but complied, cramming himself into the small space, taking extra care to knock L's clothes to the ground, making them even more wrinkled than they were before.

"Now what do you want me to do?"

L nestled a thumb between his lips, signaling that he was deep in thought. "Now," he said, "I want Light-kun to step out."

"But you only just asked me to get in!" He huffed, stomping on a pair of L's cake-decorated boxers.

"And now I am asking Light-kun to step out."

He exhaled slowly and shuffled out of the closet, only to be met by L's smirking face.

"What?" The teen questioned, shifting nervously. Had L done something with his clothes while his back was turned?

"Light-kun just came of the closet. I am very proud."

Silence.

You could have heard a needle drop.

"What?" His earlier cool composure gone, the teen could feel the rage growing inside of him.

"An eye for an eye, Light-kun."

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Light-kun commented on my clothing, I did not appreciate him doing so."

The cast on his arm stopping him from throwing the punch he wanted to, he simply reached into the closet, pulling out L's (now dirty) cake boxers. Without a word, he pulled the puzzled detective over to the window.

L didn't have time to realize what was going on until it was to late.

"Light-kun, no! Do not –"

Light let go of the fabric and watched as it slowly parachuted into the street below, before it landed in front of a man. Said man happened to be Matsuda, who looked around in confusion, before picking them up.

"Oh, my _god_, free boxers! With cakes and everything! This must be my lucky day!"

Light wandered why he wasn't surprised at the ditsy officers reaction.

" –let them go..." he finished numbly.

"Thats what you get," the teen hummed.

"That was extremely unnecessary," L stated, looking thoroughly annoyed.

"You deserved it."

"Light-kun i acting like a petulant child."

"You started it!"

"I rest my case."

Light glared. L continued to pack.

They were both looking forward to the break, maybe the reduced stressed would stop the fighting...

...yeah right....

-

And next chapter, they finally get to the airport! That's gonna go well.

Or not....


	11. The journey of doom

A/N: Wow, over 50 reviews, thanks^^

Disclaimer: Is death note Yaoi? Did Light have ten potato-chip scenes? Is Matt alive? Is anyone alive? _No_? Then I _don't own Death Note..._

-

"Do you have the tickets?"

"Yes, Light-kun."

"What about the passports?"

"Yes, Light-kun."

"And the money. Do you have the money?"

"Light-kun needs to calm down before he is arrested. He is so nervous that the security guards will think he is a terrorist preparing to blow up a plane."

Light glared at L. "I just want everything to be in place!"

The two pushed past the crowd of people, trying to find their way to the security control. Easier said then done when you happen to be in the largest airport in Japan.

"Light-kun's obsessiveness is exceeding its normal level. Is he afraid of something?"

Light whipped round, nearly getting himself tangled up in the chain. Yes, the chain was still in place. Light had been close to begging on his knees for the detective to remove it _just this once_, but to no avail.

Life sucked like that.

"I'm not _scared_," he snarled defensively. "I just don't want to end up stranded at the airport. Better safe then sorry."

"Whatever you say, Light-kun," L dismissed, removing a chewing gum from his pocket and shoving it in to his mouth. Light looked over his shoulder, noticing the gum.

"Spit that out," he ordered. "The security guards might think its drugs or something and the noise is irritating beyond words."

L stared at Light with large, expressionless eyes. "I am L. I do what I please."

"Shh," the teen hissed. "Someone might hear you!"

"We are in an overcrowded airport, Light-kun. No one is listening in to our conversation, as they are all looking for the security gate."

Light fell silent, following L as they continued to zigzag through the crowd. They continued on for a while, the detective looking for signs while the brunet glared at everyone who was staring at the chain.

_Stupid people, shouldn't they be looking for their planes instead of gawking? Go on, run along to your awaiting doom..._

L suddenly came to a halt and Light nearly ran him down.

"Light-kun, I believe we are lost," he announced, biting his thumbnail.

The teens eye twitched. This was not going well.

-

Half an hour and a coffee (and cake) break later, the pair stood in line for the security control. The man behind the other side of the counter top gave them a confused glance.

"Sirs, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to remove your... chain."

L leaned over, giving the man one of his unnerving stairs. "I am afraid that is impossible, security-san."

The poor man was now terrified, silently pleading for the teen to get the older man away from him. Light sighed and tugged at the chain, causing L to take an ungracious step back. The officer sent Light a thankful glance before turning back to L.

"I must insist that you remove the chain, as it breaches the security–"

L interrupted the man, holding up a very official looking document produced from nowhere.

"The man I am traveling with is a patient from a psychiatric ward. He is prone to random displays of violence and is a danger for himself and to those around him. I am his caretaker and need to be with him at all times so I can stop him if needed. I think the flight will be a much more pleasant experience if the chain remains."

Light was dumbstruck. Was _that _L's way of getting him on the plane? Disguising him as a _psycho_?

The man let them through, staring at the brunet with large, large eyes.

Once they were out of hearing range from the security guy, Light launched at L.

"How _dare _you make me seem like a psycho! How dare you degrade me in such a way?" Light yelled, yanking L up by his shirt.

More people stared.

Lights eye twitched.

"Light-kun is acting violent now," L observed, meeting Lights eye. "He needs to calm down before someone calls security and we get detained."

Light regretfully let go of the detective, but his glare remained in place. Deciding that the best cause of action would be to find their gate, he started looking out for signs.

"Light-kun has psychotic tendencies."

The teens head whipped round.

"What was that?" he hissed venomously.

"I said that I had found our gate, Light-kun," L said, pointing at the correct spot.

_Liar!_

-

Deep breaths.

_In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In, out. In, out. In, out, in, out, in out in out inoutinoutinoutINOUTINOUT_

"Light-kun?"

_Deep breath. _"Yes?"

"Why is Light-kun hyperventilating?" L asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No reason," he answered in one breath. _Think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts... Sunshine, Rainbows, Ryuzaki..._

_...what?_

Light tried again. _Maths, colours, clouds... _Speaking of clouds, they would be flying past them soon.

Positive thinking wasn't really his thing.

L was about to ask if Light needed any assistance, but was interrupted by the speaker, telling them to get ready for take off.

Light nearly had a panic attack when the plane's motor started. '_Breathe' _he reminded himself when he saw Ryuzaki throw him a (worried...?) glance.

"Is Light-kun feeling okay? He looks very pale."

"I'm fine it's just the –Oh, god! we're taking off!" he cried, biting his lip when he noticed his slip.

"Is Light-kun afraid of flying?" L inquired, but the teen ignored him. Desperate for something to hold on to, he latched hold of L's arm.

Sensing the others distress, he placed a hand awkwardly on Light's shoulder. This continued until the plane reached it's destined height and leveled out.

"Ehm.." Light coughed uncomfortably, regaining his composure.

"Is Light-kun's condition stable now?"

"Er... yes," Light muttered, realizing that he was still clinging to the detectives arm. Reluctantly, he let it go, settling for holding on to the arm rest instead.

"Does Light-kun wish to make small talk to forget about his fear of flying?"

"I don't have a fear of flying..."

"Light-kun should try saying that without his hands shaking and his eye twitching. I might believe him then," said L.

"Smalltalk 's fine," Light decided. "What shall we talk about?"

"I would like to ask Light-kun about his English level. Does he need to practice?"

"My Engrish-u is just-u fine, thank-u velly much-u," the teen huffed in English.

"Light-kun's accent is very cu–heavy."

"No it isn't!" He muttered, switching back to Japanese.

Unable to think of anything else to say, they sat in silence for a while, L looking out the window and Light cracking the hand rest with his death grip.

_Deep breaths..._

"Would you like to buy any food?"

"AGH!" Light jumped at the air hostesses voice, startling the girl and causing her to spill hot coffee down Light.

"Ow, ow! Damn it! It burns!" he hissed, the scolding liquid soaking through the teens clothes.

"I'm so sorry mister! Here, let me help you..." The woman trailed of, searching for a cloth. She was about to start wiping the front of Light's trousers, but the brunet stopped her.

"I'll handle it." He didn't want some unknown woman wiping his crotch....

L, who had remained quiet up until now, decided to speak. "I hope air hostess-san knows that she will be paying for my friends dry cleaning as well as serving him free food for the remaining time of the flight."

She looked like she wanted to protest, but the unspoken threat in L's monotone convinced her to comply. She bowed and continued on down the isle.

"Does Light-kun wish to clean himself of in the bathroom?"

"Yes."

They got out of their seats and tumbled towards the bathroom at the end of the isle. Once they reached their destination, they came to a realization:

"Light-kun?"

"Yes?"

"The bathroom is very small."

"Yes..."

"How are we both supposed to fit?"

"I have no idea."

Ignoring the passengers who thought they were about to join the mile high club, Light shoved L into the stall and locked the door. The apace was very cramped for the two tall men and they couldn't even stand without touching each other.

"Ryuzaki, could you stand on the toilet?"

"Only if Light-kun moves to the side."

"But I need to get to the sink," Light sighed, shoving past L.

_Thump. _

L banged his head on the wall.

"Be gentle, Light-kun."

"You're the one that's really rough!"

"Stay still, Light-kun!"

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Positioning myself so this experience will be pleasant for the two of us."

Back outside the door, everyone on the plane were either covering their ears or staring at the door with mild disgust.

Apparently, they were being to loud...

-

"Ryuzaki, why is everyone staring at us?" Light asked, his cinnamon eyes scanning the people peering over their seats at them. Yes, even _more _people then earlier and Light couldn't understand why! Someone had even _winked _at him!

"I have no idea, Light-kun."

Again, silence.

The air hostess walked passed again. Light stopped her.

"Excuse me, do you have any consommé flavored chips?" he asked, smiling brightly. The woman shot L, who was staring at her with wide eyes, a worried glance.

"Why yes! Of course! Here you go, sir."

The woman handed Light the chips and he accepted them with a smile. He was about to open the bag when he remembered his hand.

"Ryuzaki..?"

"I am guessing Light-kun requires assistance."

"Er.. yeah." Light handed the bag over and waited for L to open it. He had to use quite a bit of self control not to snatch the bag out of L's hand.

The teen accepted the snack with a smile, placing the bag on his knee and eating with his cuffed hand. With the expression of a madman, he pulled out the first chip, staring at it with hungry eyes. He chomped down at it hard, spurting crumbs everywhere.

Ah yes... chips were enough to send him into a world of total bliss.

"Light-kun enjoys eating chips," L observed.

"Why yes I do," came the absent reply. Light took another one. And another. And another... Their seats were now covered in crumbs.

"Could Light-kun please refrain from drowning us in chips?" L asked, chewing his thumb. Light looked up from his bag.

"No."

He continued eating.

The hostess re-appeared.

"Sir, could you please stop eating like that? A few passengers have been complaining about the mess and the sound."

"I don't see anything wrong with eating potato chips, do you?" Light asked, meeting her eyes and letting a charming smile grace his features. The woman blushed slightly and brushed a stray hair from out of her face.

"Er.. no sir. I shall tell the other passengers that you were doing nothing wrong."

_Score! Women are so stupid! _Hence why he didn't like them.

...not that he liked men...

"Thank you," he said softly, giving her another smile. The women quickly hurried of when she saw a baby vomit over another passenger.

Light smirked and went back to his eating.

"Light-kun uses women and is shamelessly flirtatious. Up 3,8 percent."

Light flicked a chip crumb into the detectives eye.

"...Up 2,1 percent."

-

The flight continued on like this for about ten hours. Light clung to L's arm when the plane landed but when L mentioned it, Light denied it had ever happened.

After picking up their luggage, they found their way to the parking lot without anything bad happening. Light found this slightly unnerving and was treading on eggshells all the way.

"So... what now?" Light asked, suppressing a yawn. It was so weird! It was supposed to be past midnight, but the sun was still up in England! Stupid time difference! He was going to be so jet lagged tomorrow...

"Watari has arranged for a car to pick us up and drive us to the orphanage."

"Oh."

After a short period of time, an expensive-looking limousine pulled up. The brunet assumed that this was their ride.

Lights eyebrows furrowed when he saw a very familiar man step out of the limo.

"Ryuzaki... If Watari drove us to the airport in Japan, how did he get to England and _find a car _before us?"

L could find no logical answer for that question.


	12. Awkwardness in its highest form

A/N: And here we have it (drum roll) Matt, Mello and Nears introductions. I'm not sure how old they really are in this part of Death Note, but can we pretend Matt and Mello are about 15? Just to make their actions slightly less illegal and wrong? Yeah? Good^^

Disclaimer: Do people even read these? -.-''

-

"Well come on, open it," Light sighed in annoyance, staring at the detective. Watari had a few arends to run (though Light couldn't figure out _what _the man was doing at ten-thirty in the evening... actually, he'd rather not know) and had dropped them outside of the gigantic, expensive looking castle.

Orphanage.

Whatever.

The point was, he had been standing outside for the last ten minutes, watching L stare at the door handle. L looked up, his hair as disheveled as ever and eyes wide as saucepans.

"I am preparing myself mentally, Light-kun."

"You need mental preparation to _open a door_?"

"I need mental preparation for Mello-kun. He has a tendency to become very... _clingy_."

"Who is this Mello anyway? You never told me about anyone here!" the teen muttered whilst giving up and opening the door for L. They both stepped in ad were greeted by an enormous corridor.

"Um, wow," Light said, staring in awe at the golden statues lining the fancy walls.

"Indeed."

They stood silently in the corridor, observing the marvelous decor for a while.

"So, what now?" the brunet finally asked, feeling slightly intimidated by his new surrounding.

"Now," L said, leaving a pause that was supposed to be dramatic, but ended up being slightly awkward, "we find the others."

"Others?"

"Come along this way, Light-kun!"

The sudden yank of the chain threw Light of course. He stumbled forward in a attempt to regain his balance, but the damage had already been done. Flailing his arms helplessly, he flew headfirst into one of the statues, crushing it into millions of tiny pieces as he fell to the ground.

_Ow.... That hurt...a lot._

Silence.

"Light-kun?"

He lay still, the embarrassment and the stinging pain in his face and chest hindering any movement. He heard the sugar-addict draw nearer, but he remained unmoving.

"Is Light-kun injured?"

Did he _need _to ask? Really? Did he look fine? Did he normaly have tyiny fragments of statue in his skin?

"I don't know..." Light sighed, trailing off. His thoughts suddenly went to the statue he had broken.

_Shit! __Crap! Fuck! Any possible swareword imaginable!_

How was he going to repay something like _that_?

A pair of hands ghosted over the boys frame, interrupting his musings. He flipped over, laying on his back and watched as a hint of concern flickered in the detectives eyes. It could have been annoyance though... Or a trick of the light... yeah, it was probably just the light.

"Light-kun has successfully managed to slice open his chest and cheek, as well as crushing a statue with an estimated value of sixty-five thousand pounds," L deadpanned.

Light mouth fell open, his heart missing a beat.

_Sixty-five thousand? _Was he kidding? What was that in yen? He started doing the mental calculations... Oh god... He'd be in debt for years to come!

"Er... ups?" he tried helplessly. He wasn't normally one to play the dumb-card, but drastic actions called for drastic situations! Or was it the other way round...?

"Light-kun need not worry of the statue now, I will figure out a repayment method later. As of now, I think I should attend his wounds before he either bleeds to death or permanently stains the carpet."

Light silently got up from the floor, wincing slightly. This was not going well. L led Light through the house, to what the teen assumed was a kitchen. L pulled out a chair.

"Sit, Light-kun."

Light sat.

"Take off your shirt, Light-kun."

The teen started coughing violently.

"Excuseme?" he managed through breaths. "If that's your attempt of flirting, it's not very discreet, Ryuzaki!"

L remained emotionless. "Light-kun needs to remove his shirt so I can attempt to washs his wounds before he faints of blood-loss. It would be unfortunate and bothersome to call Roger at this hour of the night."

"Roger?"

"Remove your clothing, Light-kun."

The brunet crossed his arms, huffing insults under his breath. Who did he think he was, bossing him around like that, asking him to _strip_?

… Don't answer that.

Mean while, the teens complaining had caught the attention of one of the orphaneges residences. The pale boy made his way down the stairs. He knew L was arriving today and despite his emotionless appearance, he was thrilled beyond words that L was back.

He paused outside the door.

"Remove your clothing!"

"I don't want to!"

Some struggling was heard.

"I can take my own shirt off!"

"Then why is Light-kun not doing so?"

Something was crushed.

Near decided to intervene before his idol was charged with rape.

"L?" he said, knocking the door, before opening it silently. "I'm not disturbing anything am I?"

Light froze, assessing the scene. He was currently being pressed down against the kitchen counter, L tearing his shirt of. In the doorway stood a kid looking like he was about seven, but eyes looking of someone who had just walked in on two people...

...this did not look good.

"Er..." Light began, but was interrupted by L.

"This," he said. "Is not what it looks like."

The little boy did not look convinced, but entered anyway.

"Greetings, Near-kun," L said, starting to clean the cuts on Lights chest. The teen suddenly came to a realization.

"Hang on, you know him as L?" he said, looking from one dark eyed boy to the other. The resemblance was striking, they both had the same eyes, similar postures and similar features. The teen narrowed his eyes.

"Oh my god! You're his father, aren't you!" Light sprung out of his seat, pointing an accusing finger at L. "And you told me you had only slept with a men! You rotten, rotten liar!"

"Light-kun–"

"I believed in you! Not that I mind... Or I do, but that's not the point."

"Light-kun–"

"How could you not tell me you had a child? You childish, annoying, hot- eh, _hell of annoying_ panda – "

"Light-kun!" the detective finally managed to interrupt, silencing the teen.

"What?"

"Near-kun is not my child."

"Er... oh."

Well _that _was awkward.

-

"So, what now?" Light asked. The last half hour had been really embarrassing. He had been introduced to this 'Near', who had creped the hell out of him. Then he had been fed some weird story about 'Near' being Watari's adopted son (cree-py), making them brothers... sort of...

"Now we find Mello," L sighed.

Light wasn't looking forward to this. From what he could gather about this Mello guy, he seemed very explosive and unpredictable. And in to guy on guy pornos.

...Not that he was one to judge

He followed L up the hallway. Near had already retreated back to his room, saying something about some new Lego that needed hiding before 'that blond woke up'. Leaving Light confused. Again. Why did everyone confuse him now a days?

L stopped, causing Light to slam into the detectives back, sending them both tumbling to the floor.

"Ow!"

"Ouff!"

"Damn it, Ryuzaki! Stop doing that!"

"Light-kun."

"Yes?"

"Please remove yourself from the area surrounding my body."

Light flushed slightly and quickly got off L. Two falls in one day was not setting a good.

"I'm assuming this is the Mello's room," the teen sighed.

"It is," L said and pulled the handle without knocking.

That was not a good idea.

"Oh my god!"

"L!"

"..."

"Argh! My eyes!"

Sprawled across the bed lay what Light assumed was a girl, her blond hair cut in a sleek, blond bob. Sitting _on _the blond was a guy dressed in _nothing but a pai__r__ of goggles._

Did Light even need to say that they were both naked, probably engaging in... stuff only a few seconds ago?

Both men stood frozen in the doorway, until the redhead spoke up.

"Um... would you mind closing the door? We'll be about... I'onno, seven minutes? Yeah, that'll do. Come back in seven minutes."

The door slammed shut.

L looked extremely awkward.

Light was three shades darker then a tomato.

This day was not going well....


	13. London has an eye?

A/N: Since I couldn't reply to the review complaining about Matt and Mello being gay, I'd like to point out that I put it in the summery that they would be one of the pairings.... -.-''

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note...

-

Light was tired.

No, scratch that. Light was beyond tired. Light was extremely and utterly exhausted, ready to collapse on the spot. The problem?It was eight-thirty. In the morning. He had to stay up for at least fourteen hours before he could sleep, unless he wanted his rutine to get all screwed up.

Jet lag sucked! He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep the night before, the unfamiliar surroundings and L's stare enough to keep him awake all night.

To say that the teen was in a bad mood would be an understatement.

Stabbing his toast with extreme force, he accidentally got the edge of it, sending a spray of crumbs into his eyes.

"Ow! Damn it!"

"Light-kun seems distressed. Is something wrong?"

The brunets eye twitched. "I'm fine, just be quiet for now."

"Why does Light-kun wish for me to be silent?" L asked, tilting his head thoughtfully to the side.

"Could you just talk normally for once?" the teen hissed. _Normally_, he wouldn't mind, but he was just _so tired._

"Does Light-kun find my speech abnormal?" L sounded genuinely surprised. The teen sighed.

"Sorry. No, theres nothing wrong with you're spe–"

"OH MY GOD, L!"

"Argh!"

Light was interrupted by a sudden blond ball coming bouncing into the room and he couldn't stop the surprised yelp from escaping his lips. The blond, who Light recognized as the girl from yesterday, was now clinging hold of L's arm, nestling it to her (his) face.

"What are you staring at, pretty-boy?", the pale teen hissed at Light, once he noticed that he was being observed. The brunet took a step back, causing the chain to clink loudly. The others eyes landed on the chain, causing her (his) eyes to widen.

"Mello-kun," L interrupted before Light could insult the blond back, "I would like you to meet Light-kun."

Light stretched a hand out to the blond. "Nice to meet you."

Mello looked down to the cast covering his hand. "If you want me to touch it I can, but I doubt you'll like it."

"That's what she said," came a bored voice from the corner of the kitchen. Letting his hand drop, Light turned to the the one who had spoken. He recognized him as the other boy from last night. His goggles were still in place but t(hankfully) he was dressed this time.

Light averted his eyes, going back to stabbing his toast. He was so tired! Would it really matter if he closed his eyes for a little while? He let his lids fall shut, ignoring the nagging voice in his mind telling him to stay awake. He could vaguely make out the other boys in the rooms chattering, until a hand on his shoulder startled him.

"What does Light-kun think about it?" L asked. Light blinked in confusion.

"What?"

"Mello-kun suggested we go to the London eye to keep you awake," L said.

"London has _eyes_?" Light asked in disbelief. "That I've got to see!"

"_The London eye_, Light-kun. You can see all of London from _the top of _ it," the detective sighed. Light had a feeling that L was trying to convey a hidden message in what he was saying, but the teen couldn't figure out what it was. Whatever. It couldn't be _that_ bad, right?

-

Light stared up at the gigantic monstrosity with wide, terrified eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me it was high up?" he hissed to the detective, to low for the others to hear. Yes, Mello and Matt had insisted on coming with them and Near didn't want to be left behind either. They really made out an odd group among the other citizens of London, each one ranging from various degrees of abnormality.

"I tried to, but Light-kun was to slow to understand," L deadpanned. The group shuffled along and joined the back of the queue.

"But you could have told me directly! I'm to tired to think!"

"Light-kun thought London had an eye. Eyes are usually placed at a high point. He should have understood that The London eye was high up even in his tired state," the detective muttered.

The queue moved forward.

"How was I supposed to know London had a big ferris wheel thing?" the teen hissed.

"What are you two yapping about?" came an aggravated voice from in front. Light looked over to Mello.

"Nothing much, just debating how many hours we'll be standing here," Light finally answered.

Somebody tried to push past them, but Mello grabbed the person by the shirt.

"_Excuse _me!" he roared, "but I think your place is at the back!"

"Er... somebody's already standing there," the man tried, shifting uncomfortably under the blonds gaze.

"Don't get all smart with me, mister!"

Light observed silently, wandering were the girl kept all the air to be able to yell like that.

"I'm sorry! I just didn't want to wait!" the stranger now looked terrified and Matt decided to intervene before Mello ended up punching him in the face. He removed a bar of dairy milk from his pocked, silently holding it up to the blond, to engrossed in his portable game to actually call his name.

The line moved forward.

"How long have we been standing here?" Light asked aloud to no one in particular. He was growing tired again and didn't want to fall asleep standing.

"Three minutes," Near whispered.

"Oh," Light was surprised that the little boy had spoken, if he hadn't heard him yesterday, Light would have assumed he was mute.

Half an hour passed until they finally reached the front of the line. Light stared in absolute horror at the moving wagons. You had to walk up on the platform while they were still moving to get on!

Light walked up to the... thing and took a large step, but ended up tripping on the edge and fell straight in. Luckily, Mello was standing in front of him, making him land relatively softly.

They both lay on the floor, blocking the entrance. In order not to get left hanging outside the wagon because of the chain, L had too run after the platform and jump on board before it got to high up. He climbed in, falling on top of Light.

"Fuck you, pretty boy!"

"Ow!"

"Ouff!"

Everyone on the ground gawked up at the group.

Someone tapped Light on the shoulder. The brunet turned around and was faced with a pair of bright, orange goggles.

"Light-o?"

"eh... yes?"

"I'm the only one who can top Mello. Get off."

In order for Light to get up, L had to get of Light first. By the time all three of them were standing, they were several metres up in the air. Light looked out of the glass wall, and screamed.

"ARGH!"

"Light-kun, calm down."

"ARGH! We're going up!"

"That is what were supposed to to," L muttered. Light turned to L, grabbing hold off his shirt.

"I want to get down _now_," Light hissed. Mello, starting to understand what was going on, decided to start his trademark taunting.

"You afraid of heights, pretty-boy?" he smirked, touching Light's shoulder lightly. The teens glare remained unnoticed as Mello suddenly pushed Light forward. The teen, thinking he was going to fly headfirst through the wall, put out both hands forward...

_Crack!_

His injured hand made a familiar noise.

"OW! Ow, ow, ow, ow..."

L's eyes narrowed. "Mello, go and stand over there with Matt and Near. Light-kun, please tell me you have not re-fractured your arm..."

"It wasn't my fault!" he half whined, half hissed. He then seemed to realize that he was sitting just by the edge of the platform and let out another yelp.

The detective exhaled and leaned in, unexpectedly locking his and Light's lips together. An unfamiliar tingling sensation stated to arise and the teen caught himself relaxing slightly. Ignoring the nagging voice in his mind telling him this was wrong, as well as ignoring Mello's angry complaints of disgust, he allowed himself to relax. That was, until L pulled away.

Light was stunned.

"Hmm," L said.

Light blinked.

L nibbled his thumb.

"What was that for?" He managed to ask, catching himself before he accidentally added 'and why did you stop?'.

"It seemed to stun Light-kun last time we kissed, so I thought it would calm him down now. It seems I was right."

Light shuffled over to the middle of the platform, to stunned to say anything else.

-

After they had reached the end of their "sightseeing_ tour"_ (Matt playing his games, Mello pretending everyone was ants he could squash while he was up high, Near playing with Lego, Light standing quietly and L thinking) L checked Lights arm and confirmed that it was re broken, but was able to straighten it out without contacting anyone.

L had then demanded that they go and buy some ice cream, which they had done. Just when they were about to go back to the orphanage, Light decided to be nice the blond. They hadn't gotten off on a good start and Light wanted to straighten things out while he still could.

"By the way, I like your hair, not many girls are able to keep it so well maintained without bombarding it with products," he said, smiling at Mello.

L chocked on his ice cream.

Near dropped a piece of Lego.

Matt paused his game.

Light shifted nervously. "What?"

And that was when Mello launched at him.


	14. How to seduce those tastebuds

A/N: Ha! I found another use for L's ice cream!^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

-

Mello's eyes were locked in a glare rivaling the intensities of a mafia bosses.

Matt was holding the blonds t-shirt to prevent him from attacking Light again.

L was holding his ice cream against Lights cheek to get the swelling down.

Light was trying to ignore the stickiness of said ice cream, as well as nursing a black eye.

Near was sitting a few metres away playing with his toys.

About a third of all the citizens of London were staring.

All in all, things were not going well.

"Hey, Ryuzaki..." Matt began suddenly. L turned to his successor.

"Yes?"

"I just realized something... If sunflower oil comes from sunflowers, olive oil comes from olives and fish oil comes from fish, that must mean that baby oil comes from pressed babies!" Matt exclaimed, sounding very pleased with himself.

L blinked. Matt stared up at him with large, large eyes.

_'Maybe I should move him down a bit in the list of potential successors...'_

"..."

"..."

"Maybe we should call Roger?" Near suggested, breaking the now extremely awkward silence that lay over the odd group (as well as their audience). His eyes shifted across the onlookers while he lifted a finger to his head and started twirling a pale strand of hair. Mello turned his head slowly, locking his eyes with the younger boy's.

"No one asked you!" he hissed.

"I think Near-kun has a good point. Would Matt-kun mind doing the honors?" L interrupted with a half-sigh.

"Maybe we should move? Like to a place were the car can access," the red haired gamer muttered once he had given Roger a brief explanation of what was going on over the phone.

L gave a short nod. Pushing through the crowd, the detective and the gamer made sure to keep a good distance between Light and Mello, they didn't want to risk any further damage. Once they found a place were they could wait for the limo to come and pick them up, they all stood in silence. Light, who bored as easily as ever, started observing the blond once more. Now that he thought about it, Mello did have a few masculine traits, even though the feminine ones seemed more dominant. His jaw was deffinitely on the slender side, but it was quite squared...

The teens thoughts were interrupted when a bony finger stroked across his cheek, bringing a slop of ice cream with it. He turned his face quickly, just in time to see L put a finger in his mouth. Did he just...?

"What was that for?"

"Light-kun tastes good. He improved the taste of the lemon ice cream. Citrus and Light-kun goes really well together," the detective announced.

Light couldn't quite explain why he had to fight a blush from spreading across his cheeks.

-

"We should bake a cake," Matt said suddenly. After getting the swelling on Lights face down and removing all traces of ice cream, they hadn't had much to do. Light and Near glared silently, but L and Mello seemed to agree.

"A cake would be nice. I have not eaten anything since the lemon ice cream I had earlier."

"It has to be chocolate though," Mello demanded.

"But I want strawberry cheesecake," L complained, nestling a finger between his lips. The detectives request seemed to put Mello in a tight spot, pending between 'serving' his idol and indulging in his chocolate.

"I'd rather have chocolate," Matt argued, wanting Mello to be happy. Light tossed L a glance and was startled to see the detective stare at him with wide eyes. He sighed.

"I think Strawberry cheesecake sounds nice," the brunet muttered. All eyes turned to Near, who had been given the deciding vote. The boy looked from the glaring Mello to his idol, weighing his options.

_Hmm... chose L and Mello might beat me. Chose L and I might get a few extra points in the ranking._

_Beating Mello..._

_...or having a black eye..._

_...possibility of becoming L rising..._

_...broken bones..._

_...winning..._

… _My new Lego being flushed down the toilet!_

"Chocolate," Near whispered regretfully, not wanting to risk his new toy.

They shuffled into the kitchen, L sulking and Light entering some sort of zombie like trans. Matt decided to take on the task of choosing what kind of chocolate cake would be served and reached for the bookshelf, pulling out a recipe book entitled "The secret to succes, how to seduce those tastebuds."

"That sounds like an advice book written for prostitutes," Light commented dully. Matt ignored him and flipped through the book until he found the desired page.

Light glanced down at the book and read through the ingredients. Deciding to go and get the eggs, he dragged himself to the fridge. He reached in and pulled out four white eggs and cracked them into a bowl.

"Hey, I wanted to do the eggs!" Matt complained from the other end of the kitchen.

"You can whisk them," the brunet muttered and started crossing the distance between himself and the redhead, holding the bowl of eggs in a loose grip. However, in his tired state of mind, Light had forgotten about the chain. He stumbled suddenly, pulling L with him, before slamming into Mello.

Realizing that he would be unable to catch himself if he kept hold of the bowl, he let it go, sending it right on top of a certain blond boys head.

_Slam._

All three boys landed on the floor. Light and L got up wordlessly, both staring down at Mello, who still hadn't moved. Light gulped nervously, he could practically _feel _the fury radiating from him.

Without looking up, Mello removed the bowl from his head, revealing his now soggy locks. The mush was practically dripping from its tips, running down the boys face and clothes. Light coughed.

"Er... Mello-_san_, I'm really so–"

"Matt," the blond interrupted with a deadly tone. "please go and get more eggs. Our guest _dropped _these."

They all continued to bake in silence, all of them waiting for Mello to attack Light. But time passed, spoons were licked and cakes were put into the oven and nothing happened.

That was, until Mello finished mixing the icing.

He must have been planing it all along.

No one had time to react.

Suddenly, the blond dove for the brunet, armed with the bowl. He yanked hold of the boys head and smirked.

"No one covers my hair in egg and gets away with it," he sang, before pouring the chocolate over the struggling brunet.

"ARGH! My eyes! My hair! _My clothes!_

-

"Light-kun looks tired," L observed helpfully. The teen glared. He was still covered from head to toe in chocolate icing, but was just to exhausted to change clothes.

"Genius," he muttered, stifling a yawn.

"I think Light-kun needs rest. However, he will have to last another night without sleep because I have important work to do."

Light stared at L with blank eyes.

"Light-kun?" the detective was slightly unnerved by the teens zombie like behavior.

Wordlessly, Light got up from the chair and grabbed hold of L's shoulders. Ignoring the insomniacs complaints, he led L over to one of the larger, more comfortable sofas.

"Sit," Light commanded. L hesitantly complied, crouching down into his normal stance.

"Legs down."

"Why does Light-kun wish for me to–"

"Now," the teen pressed. L thought is best to follow the orders. Once L was sitting down normally, Light plonked down next to him. With a triumphant but tired smile, the brunet spread out across the sofa, his head resting in L's lap.

He was asleep within minutes.

Due to the position of Lights head, L remained motionless for the entire night, unable to get out of his predicament because of the 40 percent lost reasoning ability.


	15. The talking panda

A/N: If anyone wanders how Light managed to crack the eggs with only his left hand in the last chapter, he just could, OK?^^

If I accidentally offended any British people in this chapter, that wasn't my intention... Because then I'd be offending myself as well... -.-

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note

-

Light shifted his weight slightly and bored his head deeper into his pillow, a content groan escaping his lips as he did so. He was vaguely aware of movement around him, but assumed it was just L crawling across the bed. Besides, he was way to comfortable to move right now.

A sudden vibration as well as an obnoxiously loud ring signal jolted Light awake. He opened his eyes only to be faced with....

...L's crotch?

What the hell?

He blinked in confusion, trying to recall what had happened last night, whilst reaching for the phone that was currently blaring out "I'm to sexy."

"Hello?", he said, stifling a yawn.

"L_iii_ght-_oo_!"

Light winced, sure his eardrums had just burst.

"Oh, Misa," he muttered, trying (and failing) to sound happy about his self-proclaimed girlfriends call. How had she got hold of his number, anyway?

"Oh, Misa-Misa has been so worried and no one would let me call you until today and then I had to wait because of the time difference and I had a photo shoot and it took for ever–"

"Misa," Light tried to interrupt, but was cut of.

"–But hey guess what I'm going to be in a new movie as well with the Ryuga Hideki and that reminds me I haven't bought Ryuzaki's present could you get him some chocolate from me?"

The rest of the girls rambling was left unheard. Birthday? _L's _Birthday? Of course, it was Halloween soon! Why hadn't he thought of anything sooner?

"And then he said I needed a makeover and–"

"Listen," Light cut in. "I need to go, I'll see you eventually. Goodbye." Light clicked on the end call button before Misa could stop him.

"Light-kun has awoken," L observed suddenly. Light jumped at the sound of the detectives voice.

"Stop doing that!" he hissed.

"Light-kun should not have answered that phone call. It costs a lot of money to answer the phone while he is abroad."

Lights eye twitched. "I think I will manage."

"Is Light-kun sure? If he wants to, he may use my phone in future."

"Oh," the brunet said, surprised by the mans... generosity? "Thanks, I guess. Hey, do you think I could go out for a while later?" He really needed to get L's present!

"Light-kun may go out, but I need to accompany him at all times."

"But I need to go out alone."

"Light-kun is in no position to make decisions like that."

"But you can't come! There is something I need that you can't see!"

"Is Light-kun going to buy the latest issue of 'Heated talk' featuring Choc-hoe-late Mello? If so, I can have it delivered."

"I already have it –eh, I mean, stop messing about! Of course not!"

"I will ignore the first part of that statement and accompany Light and pretend to not see whatever he is buying."

"Whatever," Light sighed, figuring that that would be the best offer he would get.

-

"I still don't see why _he _had to come!" Light hissed, throwing a vicious glance towards the albino boy who was currently fidgeting with his hair. The boy looked up at Light, his blank eyes creeping the teen out.

"I can hear you", Near monotoned.

"Oh... I was just testing your hearing," Light tried.

"I have an IQ that is comparable to L's. I am not stupid."

"Good for you," the teen stated awkwardly. Mello and Matt had stayed at home, something about melted chocolate and whipped cream... Light didn't want to know.

The trio entered the store in silence. A small boy walked up to Light, tugging at his arm.

"Um.. sir? Can men have babies?"

"Excuse me?" Light coughed in half-English, eyes bugging out.

The small boy pointed to L, who was staring at him with his usual blank eyes. "Well, he must be the creepy kids dad and you are his boyfriend and you look like 'the girl'."

An angry looking woman, who Light assumed was the kids mother, suddenly ran up to the boy, yanking hold of his wrists and dragging him away. All three men stared after her with wide, wide eyes.

"Light-kun is a girl," the detective deadpanned

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

-

"My Lego," Near said suddenly.

"What?" Light said, slightly confused.

"Mello put my new Lego in my half of last nights cake, that is why I came with you. I need a new set," Near stated.

"Oh," Light said awkwardly, ignoring the annoyingly late reply, slightly alarmed that the boy didn't seem to give a damn about _eating his toys. _It was a wonder he wasn't sick!

Light started browsing through the shop windows, unsure what to get. It was kind of hard to find anything decent, most of the shops were filled to the brim with Halloween stuff. Why couldn't L just have his birthday on valentines day? That would be so much easier, not to mention–

Light interrupted that train of thought before it could get any further.

He could always get something simple, like a cake or a bar of chocolate... But he just didn't feel like it! He was _Light Yagami_ and Light Yagami was perfect in every aspect, including purchasing gifts!

...but what to get?

A new shirt? No... Maybe a nail-care set?... no... Shampoo?

This was impossible! '_What do __I__ buy someone who ha__s__ everything money c__an__ buy!?__'_

In that very moment, Light caught sight of something in a shop window. He stopped, tapping Near on the shoulder as he did so. The boy didn't say anything, but showed that he had heard him by blinking twice.

The teen leaned down, only inches from the others ear. "Could you buy that for me? It's a present for L, but I don't want him to see it," Light whispered, gesturing discreetly towards the object.

Near nodded once, before walking into the shop.

"What did Light-kun ask of Near-kun?" L asked curiously. Light smirked.

"It's a secret," he said and was about to strike some kind of pose, but L suddenly yanked at the chain. Light tripped forward, but through some miracle managed to re-secure his footing.

"Look whose standing now," he snickered.

"Light-kun makes no sense."

Light was about to make some witty comeback, but felt someone pull at the bottom of his trousers. He looked down and was faced with a pair of large, green eyes belonging to a young girl.

_Do all British kids pull at strangers clothes?_

"Why do you keep your panda bear stuck to your arm? Will it run away if you let it go?"

"What-u was dat-u?" Light forced, not understanding the girls fast, heavily accented English. Said girl furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"What was that, mister?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Hmm?"

"Light-kun," L said in Japanese, trying to ease the confusion. "I will take care of her and–"

"ARGH! It talks like a human! The panda can talk!" The girl yelled, running of in fear.

"Ryuza–"

"If Light-kun ever mentions this incident ever again, I will raise his percentages by 10 percent."

Light gulped, keeping his lips sealed.

Deciding that they had had enough of weird incidents for the day, L pulled out his phone and ordered Roger to send a car to come and get them. Without wasting any time, the two marched out of the store, eager to get home as quickly as possible.

-

Later that evening, just as the pair were about to go to sleep, L suddenly shot up from the bed.

"Something wrong?" Light questioned lazily. L turned to him slowly.

"Light-kun?"

"Mm?"

"Where is Near-kun?"

Lights eyes widened in realization. "Oh, Fuck!"


	16. Evil Pumpkins

A/N: Thank you SO much for the reviews! Over 90! O.o... ^^

(This chapter is kind of filler-is, just to get things going for L's birthday/Halloween *e**vil chuckle*)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death note_

_-_

Light squinted out through the window, trying to find the missing boy. Easier said then done when it was pitch-black outside and bucketing down with rain.

"Any luck?" Light muttered to L, who was looking out of the window on the other side of the car. However, before L had time to respond, Light caught sight of a pale, ghost like form, sticking out like a sore thumb in the dark.

"Stop, I think I can see him!"

The driver slowed to a halt. Waisting no time, L climbed over Light to get to the door as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for Light, L was careless in his climbing and accidentally shoved his knee straight into Lights groin.

"Ouff! Damn it, Ryuzaki!" he hissed, eyes watering, but L payed him no mind, tugging the limping boy mercilessly behind..

"Near-kun!"

The pale boy looked up as he was addressed, his wet, now dark hair obscuring most of his face from view. His pajamas were soaked through and the frail frame was trembling with cold.

"You came," he said simply, getting up from the floor.

"I'm sorry!" Light said now the pain had began to ebb away. "I didn't think! Are you okay?"

"I am cold and hungry. A friendly woman thought I was begging and gave me some money, so I had some hot-chocolate before the shop closed. I also talked to a very nice man."

"Near-kun should know better then to talk to strangers."

"He is no stranger, I know who he is now."

"Very well. Shall we go home then?" L asked, receiving a short nod from Near.

Light tried to suppress the initial jealousy he felt when the young boy grasped hold of his idols hand.

-

It was early morning when the trio finally stumbled through the door. Mello, who had conveniently decided to wake early that morning, was the first to spot their return.

"Oh, you found him then," he stated, flicking his hair nonchalantly. Light rose an eyebrow.

"You knew he was missing?" the teen asked.

"Of course I did," Mello shrugged. "But I wasn't exactly going to _tell _you. Besides, you found him eventually, didn't you?"

"I am glad Mello finds it amusing I spent most of the night outside. I am now going to go to bed, since I did not sleep last night. I bid you all a good day." With that, Near disappeared from view. Mello stared after him.

"I think he's in a bad mood," the blond noted helpfully.

"Wow, and I wandered why you where number two," Light muttered sarcastically.

"Did you want something, or are you just going to stand here complaining, Light bulb?"

"You think I haven't heard that one before? At least I'm not named after some porn star!" Light shot back venomously.

L sighed, they had started again.

"I named myself after him, and for good reasons," Mello smirked, winking suggestively. Light shuddered.

"Are you suggesting that people find you appealing?"

"Maybe I am!"

"Name someone apart from Matt who thinks you're attractive then!" Light said, glaring furiously at him.

"Name someone? Doesn't everyone find a guy in leather appealing! Not to mention my hair." He started flipping it at that.

"My _mom_ has better hair then you," Light grumbled. Mello's eyes narrowed.

"But your mum is to fat to dress like this."

"Your mum is so fat she trips over the wireless phone," Light hissed. L winced and Mello sharpened his glare.

"My mums _dead_, stupid! Hence why I live in an _orphanage!_"

_Oh, shit! _That _was awkward._

A silence reviling the awkwardness of the one from when Light had first met Mello filled the room.

"Er... I'm sorry," Light finally muttered, shifting uncomfortably. Mello cocked his head to the side, his glare vanishing, a smirk taking it's place."

"Thats fine, she deserved it. I killed her, after all."

Lights eyes widened and he couldn't help but gape.

Another pregnant pause filled the room, until Mello suddenly burst out laughing.

"Bwahaha, you should have seen your face. Stupid pretty-boy, you shouldn't believe everything you hear."

Matt, who had been in the room the entire time, decided that he was tired of being ignored, and coughed.

"Can't we start decorating for Halloween?" He suggested, ignoring the terrified screech emitted from Light when he realized the gamer had been standing behind him for about fifteen minutes without him noticing.

"Yeah," Mello agreed. "He could get some kick-ass decorations that will scare the hell out of Near! Maybe we could–"

"Mello-kun," L interrupted, "Needs to start treating Near-kun more kindly."

Mello rolled his eyes. "And you need to stop leading that poor guy on. He has obviously got a thing for you and kissing him at random and _handcuffing _him to you probably isn't making things easier."

Light started coughing violently and L's eyes widened in surprise.

"Does Light-kun harbor romantic feelings for me?" L asked, chewing his lip thoughtfully.

"Of course not, I'm not even gay!" the teen sneered in reply.

"I beg to differ. Does Light-kun not remember the list? He spends half his life looking in the mirror–"

"Do you remember where that got you last time?" Light hissed.

L shut his mouth.

-

"Why couldn't we buy new decorations instead of using last years?" Matt muttered. L gave him a meaningful look.

"After what happened earlier I do not wish to go outside in case I forget one of you again," L stated simply.

"But these ones suck!" Mello exclaimed, pulling out an obviously fake spider.

"Why don't you just make pumpkin lanterns," Light grumbled sarcastically, annoyed that he was unable to help decorate the building. If he had been able to decide what it would look like he would give it an old, haunted castle theme, full of tricks to scare all the kids silly.

Mello's eyes lit up. "Yes! That's a great Idea, Twinkles!"

"Twinkles?" Light questioned.

"Well, you said Light bulb was overused, I'm just trying to find a fitting name. You know the song Twinkle, twinkle? It's about a star lighting up the night! Get it?" Mello smirked.

"That was the worst link to a nickname I have ever heard," Light muttered. Mello promptly ignored him and turned to L.

"Where do we get the pumpkins?" The blond asked.

"We could steal some from the kitchen," Matt suggested helpfully.

"I will go and find some," L sighed.

Fifteen minutes later, armed with two pumpkins and a knife each, the four boys were ready to go. Or three of them were. Light was sulking over his inability to join the fun.

Mello, not wanting to wait any longer, suddenly started stabbing the fruit viciously, splattering orange bits of gunk everywhere. One particularly large piece landed on L's nose. Light stared at the murderous blond with wide eyes.

"Whose idea was it to give him a _knife_?" Light whispered.

"I believe it was Light-kun's idea."

"You know that doesn't even look like a face, right?" the teen muttered, staring down at the begining of L's creation.

"Light-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Silence yourself."

He was about to protest, but a large slab of pumpkin from Mello's direction hit him in the back of his head and he had to spend the next hour trying to get it out.

-

"Ryuzaki," Light muttered, eying L's pumpkin. "You know you were meant to carve a face in it, right?"

"But I thought Light-kun would like this better," L said, looking ready to pout.

Light couldn't do anything but stare at the pumpkin with the engraved pictures of a snail sitting on a cows head.


	17. Light the hamster

A/N: So. Much. Dialogue! Hope you don't mind to much^^

Thank you_** SO**_ much! Over 100 reviews :D Special thanks to Zena Silverwing, who was the 100:th reviewer ;P

(I know it's about... two hours until it's L's birthday, but I'm going to post it now anyways :P)

**Happy Birthday L! May you receive many hot, steamy kisses from Light, as well as plenty of cake! 3**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note_

-

Light lay awake, focusing on a very specific spot on the ceiling, as if accusing it of keeping him from sleepinh. He gave out a loud sigh, before twisting into a new position. For some reason, he couldn't find a comfortable spot here either and shifted with a low groan.

He continued like this for a few minutes: he would sigh, shift his weight, groan, move again. All to no avail though, he just couldn't fall asleep!

"Could Light-kun please stop doing improper stuff whilst I am in the room? If he wishes to use the restroom or shower, he can just say so."

Light shot out of bed, glaring at L. "Excuse me?" he hissed.

"It is fine, as long as Light-kun stops, it is making me uncomfortable," L deadpanned.

"I didn't mean like that!" Light scowled. "Besides, I was trying to sleep, you pervert!"

"Light-kun sounds like Amane-san," L observed.

Light was about to fire back something equally insulting when the door suddenly burst open.

"Happy birthdaaaaay to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear L, happy birthday to you!"

Light stared at the trio that had just ran through the door. Leading the quire was Mello (who was also the only one singing), holding a gigantic box. Matt was just behind him, clutching a smaller box and lastly there was Near with two small boxes.

"Did you choke on a windpipe?" Light smirked to the blond, but was ignored, Mello marched straight past him, smiling happily at L.

"Open mine first!" He said eagerly.

"You bought a gift for me?" L asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

"Of course I did and mine is way better then Nears!" Mello proceeded to almost throw the present at L and it took a great deal of effort to catch it. He opened it hesitantly, pulling the string at the top, making the side of the box fall open, revealing an enormous cake.

Light eyed the cake suspiciously. "Blondie, why is the cake shaped as a giant penis?"

"What?" Mello dived forward to inspect his cake, which was indeed shaped like a penis, complete with large specks of strawberry jam all over. "What the hell? I did _not _order this! The damn delivery bloke must have given the real cake to the wrong address! I'm gonna blow that fuckers fucking face of!"

Light wandered if he should mention that Near was currently sporting a guilty smirk, but then remembered that he owed the younger boy and kept his mouth shut.

"Mine next!" Matt said, cutting Mello's rant short, handing over a brightly wrapped present. L accepted it wordlessly and began to tear into the packaging. After a few moments of tearing, he was holding ten packets of dairy milk.

"I figured that if chocolate makes Mello really happy, it would make everyone happy," Matt smiled.

"Thank you, Matt-kun," L said emotionlessly. A pale hand tugged at his sleeve.

"Happy birthday, L," Near whispered, handing him one of the small boxes, passing the other one to Light. The detective opened the small box and smiled warmly at the gift: a small, heart-shaped berlock necklace. Though it was a little on the feminine side, this was a very thoughtful present.

"Open it," Near encouraged. L complied. It took a great deal of fiddeling, but in the end, the little locket popped open.

"..."

"..."

"Near-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Why is there a picture of Light-kun and myself inside?" L demanded.

"Don't you like it?" Near asked, using his best puppy eyes. L bit his lip.

"It is very nice," he sighed reluctantly

An odd silence followed, which Light decided to interrupt by handing L his gift. _He's going to love this._

L stared at the box. "Light-kun, the box is full of holes," he said hesitantly.

"It is meant to! Come on, open it!"

L hesitantly undid the blue ribbon and lifted the lid. His eyes went blanker then ever as he caught sight of what was at the bottom of the box.

"..."

"Well, what do you think?" Light smiled. L put his hand in the little box, scooping up its furry inhabitant.

"Light-kun bought me a hamster..."

Light had indeed purchase a hamster (or technically, Near had bought it, but that wasn't the point...).

"Do you like her?"

"Her?" L questioned.

"That is what you call a female," Matt offered helpfully.

"It is white," L observed.

"_She _is white," Light corrected.

"She _is _white."

"Yes," Light agreed, smiling.

"She has black rings around her eyes," L added as an after thought.

"She has," Light nodded.

"Is there a reason for this?"

"She looked a little like you. I thought you might appreciate the similarities."

"Is Light-kun trying to insult me by comparing me to a rodent?"

Lights face fell. "You don't like her?"

In that very moment, _she _decided to struggle out of L's grip and over to his cake, taking a huge bite. The detective glared at the hamster, but the small creature stared up at him with wide, innocent eyes, licking the cream from around her face. She then let out a happy squeek.

"She is... sweet," L sighed reluctantly.

"Pun horribly intended," Matt added.

"What are you going to call her?" Mello asked eagerly.

"Name her?" L questioned, eying his new pet carefully.

"Of course you have to name her," Light scoffed. "And give her a proper name, not G or A or Y or something stupid like that."

"I find Light-kun's choice of letters interesting."

Light blinked in confusion. "Huh? What was wrong with them?"

"Never mind. I think I shall name her at a later point in time, when I have a better overview of her personality. In the meantime, we need to find her a cage."

"Good idea," Light smiled.

"So... what now?" Near whispered.

"Trick or treating!" Mello announced happily. "Come on, everybody go and get changed!" The blond proceeded to yank hold of his boyfriends arm and dragged him out of the room. Near left silently.

"How much sugar do you provide Mello with?" Light asked, surprised at his hyperactivity.

"Enough," L replied simply.

-

"Ryuzaki, take that stuff off, you are really starting to creep me out!" Light hissed. L's outfit was the creepiest thing he had ever seen! The worst part was that he hadn't even done much! His clothes were full of jam splatters from the penis cake (Light had given L a few 'blow job jokes' when he was eating it, but they had all been ignored) and he had a fake nail through his head. You know, the kind that actually goes around it with a metal-thingy.

Light, on the other hand, had decided to dress up as a vampire. Not any vampire, but the girl-favorite Edward Cullen! What better way to prove his manly-ness then to dress up as him, a guy that all girls knew and loved?

...Light had ignored L's comments about glitter-skin and wearing makeup being unmanly.

L didn't reply to Lights complaints about his outfit and just carried on through the corridor. Most people cleared out of the way when they spotted L, his "costume" scaring them to much to go anywhere near him. They walked along for a while, until they spotted a familiar trio ahead.

"Pikachu?" Light scoffed as he caught sight of Mello.

"Aaagh!" Mello let out a mock yelp as he caught sight of Light. "Take that mask of! It's horrendous! Think of the children! Think of the children I say!"

Light was tempted to punch the boy, but didn't.

"Glitter?" Mello smirked once he had finished his show. "Now I'm definitely going to be calling you twinkles!"

"I'm Edward Cullen, stupid!" he hissed. Light then turned to Matt. "Who are you?"

"Matt," Matt said.

"Who are you dressed up as?" Light sighed, beginning to wander if Matt really belonged in a school for the gifted.

"I'm a cash register, because then they'll have to give me money!"

Suddenly, Matt didn't seem that stupid anymore.

"And what about you?" Light asked, turning to Near.

Who looked exactly the same as earlier.

"I am a ghost."

"Oh," Light muttered. He didn't want to accidentally insult the boy by saying something about his lack of anything."

"He's actually put some flower on his face to look paler," Mello muttered. "But when I saw him I thought he had nicked someones bronzing-powder. Who knew flower could make someone look _darker_?"

"Very funny, Mello," Near muttered.

"I know!" Mello said proudly. Near's eyes widened and he took a step closer to Mello, observing him with his trademark creepy stare.

"I am the spirit of chocolate," he deadpanned. "Anyone who insults me will get poisoned every time they ingest chocolate."

Mello took a quick step back, a terrified look on his face.

"You know what the worst part is? I actually believed you fore a second!" he muttered. Near just smirked.

An awkward silence followed an Light absently noted that they were starting to become routine.

-

The rest of the day had been kind of weird. Apparently, they had forgotten that the nearest house was miles away and they weren't allowed to leave the orphanages grounds, so they hadn't been able to go out trick or treating. Watari had aranged a party for L, but Mello and Matt had then left early, something about continuing from were they left of last night... Light suppressed a shudder at the thought. They were fifteen and mated like rabbits!

Near had also left, wanting to spend time with his new friend. Who this new friend was, Light had no clue, but he honestly didn't care. L and Light had then gone down to the basement to find a better cage for L's hamster, apparently boxes weren't that good of homes.

It was an exhausted Light that collapsed into bed that evening and he was surprised to see that L seemed equally tired.

"Hikari," L said suddenly. Light blinked.

"What?" he muttered.

"I shall name her Hikari," L said again.

"Who, the hamster?" Light's eyes widened in surprise. "You're naming her after me?"

"Technically, I am just naming her "Light", but in Japanease. Though I admitt, I would not be naming her so if she had been a gift from someone else," L monotoned.

"So you're amning a hamster after me?"

"Pretty much, Yes."

Another silence followed.

"I am going to go to sleep now," L announced suddenly and closed his eyes, snuggeling up under the blankets.

Light stared at him for a moment, surprised to how vulnerable he looked . After a few minutes had passed, Light assumed he had fallen asleep. He was unsure why he suddenly had a strong urge to kiss him.

He leaned down hesitantly, his face inches from L's, before he let their lips brush gently. It couldn't really be called a kiss, it was just a moment of flesh against flesh. Suddenly realizing what he was doing, Light pulled back with a resigned sigh. He then spread out across the matress and fell asleep.

Minutes later, L opened his eyes, to shocked to do anything then to stare at the young boy who had just kissed him when he thought he had been sleeping.


	18. Light loves his bondage!

A/N: Updates will be a little slow the next month as I'm going to try my hand at NaNoWriMo and I have a feeling a lot of time will be spent there... I also have lots of schoolwork ahead -.- I promise to update whenever I can!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note_

-

Once L was sure Light was asleep, he unlocked his own cuff, looped it twice around the headboard and snapped it on to Lights other arm. Quietly, he got off the bed and snuck out of the room, bringing his laptop with him. He shuffled through the corridor, intending to find a peaceful room to sit in and found one at the far end of the hall.

He crouched down on the sofa with his computer in front of him, opened it up and found a reliable search-engine.

"_Does my friend wish to expand our friendship to a romantic level?"_

About 12,600 results popped up. L browsed through them quickly and deemed everything useless. He tried again, using simpler words.

"Friendship romance test"

1,430,000 results.

At least he was getting somewhere. He found a link that seemed promising. A very... pink, flowery site entered the screen, complete with the soundtrack for Greece. L quickly turned the sound down.

"_Test: Does he want to be more then friends?_"

_Does he put your needs above his own?_

_a.) Always_

_b.) Sometimes_

_c.) Never_

L thought for a moment, remembering the cake-incident, as well as Light agreeing to fly all the way to England with virtually no explanation. Not to mention the confinement, the handcuffs... he horridly clicked the first opinion.

_Does he accidentally touch you a little more then necessary? (Brushed his fingers against your cheek, felt your hair etc.)_

_a.) yes_

_b.) Sometimes_

_c.) Never_

He paused again. It was true that Light fell _on _him a lot, but it was hard for that _not _to happen with the chain. But then there was the sleeping on his knee and _the_ kiss... He clicked yes.

The test continued on like this, L clicking through the answers. Finally, at the end, he clicked "send."

He almost fell out of his chair.

_100%_

_Congratulations! Your friend really loves you! You spend most of your time together and both of you really enjoy it!_

_Did you really need to do a test to figure this out? Go on, get out there and put your friend out of his misery, tell him how much he means to you!_

"... … ..."

L closed the page, deleted his browsing history and shut the computer, trying to compute this new information. Deciding that he needed some time to think about the newly obtained facts, he did what any man would do in this situation:

He went to the kitchen and ate some cake.

-

"Shh, you'll wake him up!"

"He's probably not sleeping anyway. L never sleeps,"

"Nobody asked you, Near!"

"Mello is screaming."

"Am not – and who the fuck trod on my foot?!"

"Shh... this is the room!"

The trio, consisting of Matt, Mello and Near, stopped outside the door.

"Do you think they are in here?" Matt asked loudly.

"Shh!" "Shh."

"Oh, sorry," Matt whispered, lowering his voice. "Do you think they are in here?"

"Well, they should be," Mello replied in a hushed tone. The three had set off on a mission. Not just any mission though: They were going to uncover the secrets between their idol and this unknown Light-o guy. They were convinced something was up. L had never revealed his identity to anyone, how could something NOT be going on if he's suddenly dragging some random Japanese bloke round to his childhood home?

Mello led the way, Matt standing close behind him and Near a good few metres behind. The blond suddenly felt something brush against his butt.

"Matt," he hissed. "Leave my ass alone!"

"It was an accident!"

"You fucking groped me!"

"Did not!"

"Could both of you silence your selfs?" Near whispered. Matt and Mello shut there mouths.

"Ready?" Mello asked. Matt nodded.

"You know, if L, against all odds, was actually sleeping earlier, we have probably woken him by now," Near prompted. Mello ignored him and creaked the door open, sneaking into the bedroom.

"Hey, there's only one bed!" Mello hissed.

"What else were they supposed to do with the cuffs on?" Matt asked.

"They could have two beds next to each other."

Mello continued until he was right by the bed, but wrinkled his eyebrows when he only saw one human form. Then, he froze. Chained to the headboard was a shirtless, sweaty, trashing, sleeping Light Yagami.

_The hell?_

"Ngh... stop it," Light murmured in his sleep. Matt, Mello and Near stared with large, large eyes.

They did _not _want to see this!

"Oh god, my eyes!" Mello hissed, forgetting to keep the volume down. Lights eyes shot open at the sound of Mello's voice.

"No! Kira!" Panting, the teen sat up, expecting to see L, ready to comfort him after waking from his dreams, only to be met by three familiar faces.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh," Matt laughed awkwardly. "You were having a nightmare. Hehe... Mello, you need to stop making assumptions!"

"Who was the one making assumptions?" Mello growled.

"Whats going on?" Light muttered, still weary from his dream. In an attempt to rub the sleepiness from his eyes, he tried to move his hands to his face, only to find them stuck. In confusion, he turned to his side to ask L what was going on, only to find that the detective was absent.

The three boys blinked down at Light.

"What?" he hissed, irritated by his own confusion.

"Does L make a habit of chaining you to stuff?" Mello asked bravely.

"What the hell do you think? Where is Ryuzaki anyway?"

"I am over here."

All four heads turned to L, who had appeared in the doorway.

"Where the hell have you been! This is degrading!" Light hissed, struggling against his bonds.

"Does Light-kun not enjoy bondage? He did not seem to mind earlier," L stated innocently. Matt, Mello and even Near promptly turned a dark shade of red. They shifted nervously.

"I think... we'll go now," Mello muttered. Near and Matt nodded.

"Er... see ya!"

The door slammed shut.

"What was that for?" Light grumbled. "Do you _want _them to misunderstand everything?"

"I was just joking, Light-kun," L sighed.

"Yeah, yeah... where were you, anyway?"

L shifted, visibly startled. "I was... investigating..."

"Investigating? In the middle of the night?"

"It is important, highly confidential material that Light-kun should not know of."

"Oh... whatever."

"Since Light-kun has awoken, would he min starting the day a little early?" L asked, nibbling his thumb.

"Yeah..."

None of them made a move to get up. Light was still cuffed to the bed.

Insert epic silence of awkwardness here.

"Er... Ryuzaki, it's kind of uncomfortable to be stuck like this..." Light hinted carefully. L got the message and leaned down to un-cuff the teen.

Their faces suddenly seemed very close. Light couldn't help it, his breath started speeding in anticipation. L seemed to notice this, but made no move to pull back. Instead, he seemed to shift closer, his pale lips inches from Light's.

Was this about to happen? Did Light _want _it to happen?

...Yes. Yes he did.

Light let out a strangled gasp, just as L was about to close the distance, their lips only just brushed–

_Slam_

The bedroom door opened.

"L, you need to come quick! There is a urgent situation that required immediately attention – Oh, god!"

It wasn't Mello. It wasn't Matt. It wasn't Near. It wasn't even Watari!

It was Roger. Pale, shaking, shocked beyond words Roger. Who was currently watching the man he saw as his nephew, law sprawled across a sweaty, half-naked mans chest.

The poor man stood frozen in the doorway, looking like he was about to pass out...

_Smack_

"Shit..."

Scrap the "looking like" part... The man was currently sprawled unconscious across their bedroom floor.

"Light-kun.... how do we explain this to Watari?"

The teen was gaping, to stunned to answer.


	19. A series of unfortunate events

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note

-

Light stared down at the unconscious body.

"Hmm... this could be troublesome," L muttered.

"Troublesome? He's fucking past out!" Light yelled, trying to flail his arms, only to realize that he was still stuck.

"Language," L scolded. "And please refrain from shouting, it is disturbing."

"But what should we do with the body?" Light asked franticly.

"He is not a corpse that needs hiding and should not be adressed as such!"

"But Watari! What will he say? Oh god, un-cuff me and I'll pull him out of the room! We'll pin it on Mello. If we leave him next to his and Matts bed, we'll get away with it"

"Up 5.67 percent!" L snapped, digging in his pocked for the key. Were could he have put it? He was sure it was in his pocket! Or could he have dropped it earlier, when he was doing the test? But he was L! L does not loose things!

...Though everyone makes mistakes from time to time.

"Er... Light-kun?" L began, eying the chain thoughtfully. Maybe he could pick the lock... But no, he had designed it to be un-pickable to prevent the brunet from escaping...

"Yes?" Light snapped.

"I seemed to have misplaced the key."

Dead silence.

L was sure lights eyes darkened a shade or two.

"You what?" Light asked dangerously.

"I do not remember were I placed it, Light-kun."

Light felt like tearing his hair out. Actually, he _wanted _to tear _L's _hair out. Only he couldn't, for obvious reasons.

"If you don't have the key," he began. "How do you plan on freeing me?"

"I will have to call Watari and get him to call a locksmith."

"But what about him?" Light asked, eying the limp man, who was still lying in the doorway.

"I will dispose of him."

"Wasn't it you who was complaining about me referring to him as a corpse?" the brunet muttered.

"Things have changed. I will find him an empty room. Stay here."

"Where the fuck else would I be able to go?" Light shouted in frustration,

L slammed the door shut, silencing the teen. He huffed in annoyance, waiting impatiently for L's return. He tried to struggle out of the chain again, but it was no use, the cold metal remained. Stupid L, chaining him to beds, accusing him of murder, kissing him...

Light flushed at the thought. That was right, but this time, their roles had been reversed. How had that happened? He had been completely absorbed in the moment and hadn't been thinking clearly. On second thought, he hadn't been thinking at all! But would he do it again, given the chance?

…

…

Hell yes!

The clock ticked by and Light was getting tempted to call for help. That was, until he heard footsteps from outside the door.

"Ryuzaki! Finally!" he called. The door opened and for the second time of the day, revealed someone who Light did not wish to see.

Things just got worse.

"Er... Good morning, Watari-san," Light mumbled, overly aware of his current predicament.

"Yagami-kun...." the man rose a questioning eyebrow. "Something the matter?"

"Eh... do you have a spare key for the chain?"

Watari eyed the boy critically. "Were is Ryuzaki?"

"He's hiding the body."

Watari's eyes grew three times their usual size, almost popping out from under his glasses.

"I mean... he's looking for his buddies," Light tried to cover his obvious mistake. The man did not look convinced.

"Why did he leave Yagami-kun stuck to the bed?" Light flushed again. The man looked extremely uncomfortable. Actually, don't tell me."

Lights eyes widened in realization. "What? No, no it's nothing like that! Ryuzaki just didn't want me to run away, that's all." he chuckled nervously.

"Anyway," Watari said. "What I came here to ask was if you have seen Roger anywhere." His eyes narrowed and he inched closer to Light. "You wouldn't happen to know were he is?"

"Of course not," Light said smoothly. "Why would I?"

"He was sent to your room to deliver an important message," Watari deadpanned.

...Oh.

Well that was inconvenient.

"Is that so?" Light muttered.

Another set of footsteps could be heard outside the door, as well as the sound of something heavy being dragged. Light realized what was about to happen.

L was just around the corner, calling the teens name.

"Light-kun, I could not find a place to hide–" L froze.

Watari stared from his boss, the the unconscious body he was pulling around.

"Ryuzaki..." Watari said sternly.

"Yes?"

"Why are you dragging Roger around like that?"

L let go of the man. He walked up to Watari and stared him straight in the eye. "I have no idea what Watari is talking about."

"Ryuzaki, I will question you about this later. In the meantime, put Roger on a chair, he's to old to lie on the floor. I will go and hind a chainsaw.

-

An hour, a few close calls of nearly slicing Lights arms of with a saw and a small fight later, the teen was free. Light was over the moon to be able to use both his arms, but L was not happy and kept reminding Light that he was only going to be free for about a day and he was still going to be under constant surveillance.

Watari had then informed them about an emergency meeting in the kitchen and the pair had promptly hurried in.

"What is going on?" L asked urgently. A fuming, angry, ready to erupt Mello glared at him from across the room.

"It is gone!" He hissed, looking ready to kill.

"Please establish context before speaking," Near muttered from behind. The blond ignored him.

"What's gone?" Light asked.

"_It_!"

"What is Mello-kun referring to?" L inquired.

"The cookbook!" he fumed.

"The one for hoes?" Light asked with a smirk.

Mello's eyes flashed dangerously. "What was that?"

"Er... nothing."

"Some bastard stole my book! _My _book! But that's not all!" Mello continued. Digging in his pocked, he brought out a small piece of paper. "Here, read this!"

Curiously, L excepted the paper. It was creased after being held in Mello's strong grip, but there was nothing to distracting.

_Dear all:_

_I have been feeling very bored recently, so I will be setting a few challenges for you. Complete then and I will give you your stuff back and move on to the next level. Fail and I will burn your stuff and move on to the next challenge._

_I would say that this is nothing personal, but it is. So I wont._

_Oh, I almost forgot: Your first clue. Lets see... Letter. Yeah, that should do. Your first clue is letter._

_P.S: Tell L not to loose important stuff._

_/ Numb_

"Numb?" Light asked. "Some former Wammy resident?"

"Never heard of him. More importantly, how did he know I lost the key?"

"I think it was Near," Mello growled.

"Does Mello have a basis for this accusation?" L asked.

"Of course I do! It's signed "Numb", right? Near is constantly numb and starts with an N And numb rimes with dumb! It's obvious who it is!"

"I am insulted that Mello thinks I would purposely reveal myself like that," Near monotoned.

"So... What do we do about this?" Light muttered.

"We need to find whoever did this. If someone is able to get in and out of the orphanage without being detected, the children could be in danger!" Watari said. L's eyes widened.

Light sighed internally.

It looked like his day wasn't going to get any better.


	20. Scooby doo

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death note ((Collective gasps of surprise!))._

-

L bit down on his thumbnail, deep in thought. He wasn't really sure how to go about this incident. Something needed to be done, but he wasn't sure what! Maybe he could interview everyone at Wammys and ask what they were doing just before Matt and Mello discovered that the book was gone.

It was safe to assume that the culprit had taken L's key as well, so it couldn't have been Light. Roger was still...er... _sleeping _in the other room, so that eliminated him to.

That left only 78 other possible suspects, excluding Watari and L himself.

"I have come to a decision!" the detective announced suddenly. "Light-kun and I will be speaking to you each individually. Would Mello-kun kindly follow me to the other room?"

"I'm telling you, it was Near!" the blond insisted. "Besides, you can just interview us out hear, no need for the one-to-one stuff."

L weighed the decision thoughtfully. "Alright, if that everyone desires. Mello-kun, were where you about one hour before the incident?"

"Who would be stupid enough to steal their own stuff?" Mello questioned in annoyance.

"I wouldn't put it past you," Light muttered under his breath.

"Mello-kun, please do not respond to Light-kun and answer the question."

"Er... I was in my bedroom," Mello muttered, shifting his weight uncomfortably. L's eyes narrowed at the action, thinking it suspicious.

"Is there anyone who can verify that claim?"

"I can!" Matt said.

"And what was Matt-kun doing at the time?" L asked.

"Mello," Matt deadpanned. Light coughed violently.

"Stop doing that!" he hissed.

"Stop doing what? Mello?" the gamer smirked.

"You know what I mean!" Light growled, narrowing his eyes and inching closer, towering over Matt. He stood frozen like that for a few moments, entering a one sided staring contest. Then, after glaring at the other for so long his eyes started tearing up, he came to a realization.

"You cheated!" he said accusingly, pointing at the goggles. "That's unfair! I should take those weird goggles and use them as a noose and–"

"Light-kun, please refrain from threatening the orphans when I am trying to question them," L interrupted. He turned to Near.

"Where was Near-kun at the time?" L questioned.

"Plotting something evil, like the brutal murder of L's hamster!" Mello muttered.

"In my room, playing," the albino whispered, ignoring the blond.

"Is there anyone who can verify that?"

"Yes," Near nodded. L waited patiently for him to continue, but the boy remained silent.

"Who?" the detective urged.

"My robots."

L mentally sweat dropped. "Anyone who can actually prove that he or she was in Near-kuns presence?"

"My robots have an automatic recording device which was activated at the time," Near said.

"Very well then," L sighed. Now to talk to everyone else."

"You aren't planning on talking to all of Wammys recidants, are you?" Light questioned. "That will take forever!"

"Light-o actually has a point," Mello sighed. "Shouldn't we try to figure out the psychos message instead? What kind of a clue is 'letters' anyway?"

"A very bad one," Light deadpanned. It really could mean _anything_! Light guessed that a lot of kids here were named after letters, so it could be that, or it could be something to do with the letter they just received from the person stealing the stuff, or because it was a book that was stolen, it could be something to do with that, or maybe...

They where stuck, weren't they? As in stuck-hip-deep-in-quicksand-stuck.

"Maybe we should all split up," Matt suggested suddenly.

"And look for clues, like in Scooby-doo?" Light muttered. The younger boy shrugged.

"I thought it might be easier to think of some sort of idea when we're not all shoved into one small area, but if you want to go ghost-hunting, no one's stopping you," Matt smirked. L grabbed hold of Lights arm before he had time to attack the younger boy.

"I agree with Matt-kun," L prompted, dragging the other out of the room. "I will be back in a few hours, so be back by then."

Light followed the detective obediently, silently glad that the chain was gone so L had to drag (touch) him to keep him with him. Light was to caught up in his internal musings to notice when L stopped outside one of the doors.

_Smack!_

_Crash!_

"Ouff!"

"Ow!"

"Ouch!"

Light had bumped into L, who pumped into the door, which had caused it to slam into some person on the other side. The door opening had made L fall and Light, who had been leaning his weight against him at the time, had also fallen down.

All in all, it ended with L sprawled across the floor with Light on top of him, with a man observing him.

Said man happened to be Roger.

L looked up awkwardly. "Ah, I see that Roger-san has awoken."

The man was rubbing a hand against his forehead, nursing it from were it had been assaulted by the door.

"Yes, I have. It is rather strange, I can't really remember falling asleep, I just woke up fully dressed.

"Very strange indeed," Light agreed, giggling nervously and his eye twitching violently.

"Would Light-kun care to remove himself from my back?" L said quickly, before the elder could notice Lights obvious unease. The brunet quickly scrambled up off the detective.

"Well then, we'll be off... See you around, Roger-san," Light said politely, eye still twitching.

The elder man nodded, smiling at the younger men. He'd had a _very _weird dream concerning the two and was having a hard time getting it out of his head, which was mildly disturbing. Sighing, he stepped aside and let the boys past, before walking out the door.

It wasn't until then Roger realized something. How had L known that he was asleep?

-

L and Light stepped into their bedroom silently. L slammed the door shut and Light walked over to the hamster cage. He silently observed the little creature, glad that she seemed to be settling in well in her new home.

"Light-kun?"

"Hmm?"

"I believe we –"

"Wait!" Light interrupted, catching sight of a small piece of paper. He knew it hadn't been there yeasterday, because he had just gon on a major cleaning rampage! "Take a look at this."

L accepted the note, unfolding it quickly.

_I see you enjoy chaining people to beds and leaving them there... Not very nice, L. I expected more from you. This should teach you to treat others kindly. I wont give you a clue to were the key is hidden, you can search for the it yourself. Though you might want to find it before your friend needs the bathroom._

_/Numb_

Light, who had been reading the letter over L's shoulder, was horrified. "He was just going to leave me to die there?"

"I can assure Light-kun that I would release him before he starved to death. What surprises me is that Light-kun is not concerned by the fact that the key was in my pocket at the time, meaning the thief stole it of my being without me noticing!"

Lights eyes widened. "Then what should we do?"

"I think our actions need to be planned before we do anything hasty. As of now, I think we have something important to discuss."

"Important?"

"How does Light-kun wish to continue our relationship?"

Lights mouth suddenly dried up. Leave it to L to be this direct.


	21. Seme vs uke

A/N: Sorry for the lateness, ff wouldn't let me publish it -.-''

I forgot to mention it earlier, but thank you Stephanie for helping me with chapter 19^^

_Disclaimer: I (still) don't own Death note -.-''_

-

Light observed the detective, suppressing the urge to fidget. L was still staring at him, waiting for a reply, but the brunet was still to stunned to answer.

"Well? What does Light-kun wish to do?"

_'Keep your cool. Act normally. Smile. Sound confident!'_

"I... er... really think it would be best to..." flustered, Light tried to force a smile to his face, but ended up making a weird grimace. L gave him "the look". In an attempt to save himself, Light tried to go for the "tilt your head to the side and smile" trick, but ended up making the move to quickly.

His neck made a loud crack.

L's eyes widened considerably as Light remained frozen, biting his lip to stop any unwanted whimpers from escaping.

No one moved.

"Light-kun?" L mumbled carefully, taking a step forward, but quickly recoiled as the teens eyes slowly started to water. Determined not to let the tears spill, he blinked quickly, but a single drop found its way out, slowly dribbling down the side of his chin.

"Ryuzaki?" Light managed. "I think I just pulled a tendon in my neck."

L wasn't really sure what to do with this new piece of information, so he simply blinked.

"I don't think I can move it," he added. L still didn't say anything.

"A little help would be nice!" He hissed through clenched teeth.

"There is nothing much I can do in this situation, unless Light-kun wishes for me to give him a neck massage."

Lights face visibly softened at this. "Yes please, that would be nice."

The detective gestured towards a conveniently located chair. Light plonked down obediently, wincing as he accidentally moved his head to the side. He could feel the warmth of L's fingers hovering just above his neck and resisted the urge to move back and close the distance.

The pale digits finally started to move in circular movements. The movements quickly became rough, sending shots of pain through his body.

"Ghaa!"

"Just relax, Light-kun."

"You're _breaking _my neck!" Light hissed.

"I am _helping_!" L insisted, continuing the treatment.

"It's not working!"

"Be patient."

Silence followed as L continued his procedure and gradually, Light began to relax. The pain didn't disappear, far from it, but it definitely made a difference. His eyes started to become heavier and he wouldn't have minded falling asleep there and then, but a sudden, familiar monotone started ringing in his ear.

"Did Light-kun purposely cause himself injury so he could gain a massage from me as well as avoid an uncomfortable conversation? If so, I am flattered he would go to such lengths to be close to me, but I would rather he did not do this in the future as I do not wish to see Light-kun come to any harm. If he ever wishes for a massage, he should say so."

"Don't flatter yourself," Light mumbled, unsure of what to do with L's outburst.

"Was I correct?"

"No."

Another pause followed, until L decided to speak again. "So, how does Light-kun wish to continue our relationship?"

Light tensed again. Why did L have to be do direct? Really? Did it serve any practical purpose?

… … …Apart from the fact that people usually gave direct answers...

"Er.. I..." _Don't stutter, don't stutter, don't stutter _"I think we should..." Light trailed of, unsure of what to say.

"Light-kun seems flustered. Does he wish to hear my opinion on the matter?" L asked. Light nodded.

"Though it is very unprofessional for me to get personally involved with a suspect, I feel that Light-kun is worth the risk. He is the only person I can have an intelligent conversation with and I also find him very attractive and would not mind giving this a try."

Unsure to how to react to this, the teen bit his lip and turned to L, slightly annoyed at having to turn his entire body instead of just his neck.

"I would like to give this a try," Light said, trying to sound self-assured as well as trying to ignore the awkwardness of this entire conversation. L nodded in approval, but didn't say anything.

The brunet wasn't really sure what to now. Usually, when he established relationships with girls, his new girlfriend would say something cute (or stupid) and they would kiss. However, he had never gone about starting anything in this way before. Both him and L were incredibly stiff and the situation was so awkward Light almost wished he was somewhere else, far, far away.

He let out an inaudible sigh and decided to take action.

Experimentally, he leaned forward, keeping what he hoped was a confident look in his eyes. The detective didn't blink and leaned down, equally cautious. They met halfway, lips gently caressing one another. Relaxing into the gentle touch of skin against skin, Light cought himself slipping his eyes closed.

Slowly, L started to put more force into the kiss and Light, not wanting to be controlled, did the same. That was, until L suddenly pulled away. Lights neck jerked forward and he hissed in pain.

"What was that for?" Light asked, slightly annoyed at the detectives unexpected actions.

"Light-kun was trying to take over!" L accused.

"Huh? What else am I supposed to do?"

"Light-kun is the uke so he should not be to pushy," L deadpanned. Lights eyes flashed in sudden anger.

"What? I am not the uke! That's ridiculous!"

"Is Light-kun suggesting that he should be seme?"

"_Yes! _I am taller, stronger and more experienced!" Light growled.

"Light-kun forgets that I walk hunched. When I straighten up I am way taller then him. He is also forgetting that I am more experienced then him!"

"You are not taller nor more experienced then me!"

"May I remind Light-kun that he is also younger and acts less manly then I do."

"What? I am not unmanly! You're the one constantly eating sweet stuff!" Light shot back, fighting the urge to yell.

"Light-kun spends forever on his hair and uses nail polish. He is also a klutz by nature and is extremely accident prone, hence the neck and broken arm."

"It's almost healed now," Light grumbled.

L was about to continue his why-Light-kun-is-the-uke-rant, but was interrupted by a harsh knock on the door.

"Come in!" L and Light shouted at the same time. The door clicked open, revealing a pale boy dressed in white.

"You never came back, so I was sent back to check on you. Mello said I was already mentally scarred, so it wouldn't matter if I walked in on anything."

An uncomfortable silence followed.

"Roger-san also said it was time to eat now." the albino added as an afterthought. The pair got up, continuing their battle through weird facial gestures. Near gave them one look and decided to ignore it for now, they were old enough to resolve their brawls them selfs.

-

Everyone seemed to notice the tension between L and Light at the table, but no one commented. Maybe it had something to do with the death glares from the younger of the two whenever one of the other recidents opened their mouths.

Light glanced down at his food, eying the peas thoughtfully. He then glanced at his fork, calculating the amount of force needed for what he was about to do. If he planned his attack carefully enough...

Before L could foresee the upcoming attack, Light had already launched three peas. One missed, one landed in L's glass and one hit him in the eye.

The teen smirked. L merely picked the food out of his eye and flicked it into Lights hair. He then proceeded to do the same with the one that had landed in his hot chocolate.

With a low _swish, _the two green soldiers were sent souring through the air and landing in Lights hair. The teen s eyes widened.

"You didn't!" he hissed, glaring dangerously at L. The raven nibbled his pie, staring back with wide eyes.

No one said anything else for a while. Matt, deciding that this had gone on for long enough, spoke up.

"So, did you find anything else about this Numb guy?"

He silenced quickly when he saw the look on Lights face.

"Light-kun suffers from PMS," L observed. The teen finally snapped.

"For the last time: _I. Am. Not. The. Uke!_"

A silence with a slightly different tension then the one from earlier followed.

Light suddenly got a feeling of deja-vu.

Near looked like he always did.

Mello and Matt were smirking.

For some reason, Roger was handing Watari a ten-pound note.

A gazillion children were staring at them.

"I never said Light-kun was a uke, I just said he had pissy man syndrome," L droned.

"Roger," one of the children asked."What is a uke?"


	22. Kidnapping the tooth fairy

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note... -.-''_

Light woke to the feeling of cool mettle being pressed against his wrist. He groaned loudly, blinking the weariness out of his eyes.

"Ryuzaki?" he muttered. "What's going on?"

"Ah, so Light-kun has decided to speak to me now? I am glad."

"I'm _not_ talking to you, I'm _asking_ why you're waking me up at..." Light glanced at the clock on the bedside table, eyes narrowing as he caught sight of the numbers. "Four in the morning!"

"Light-kun is speaking," L observed dully. "And I did not intend to wake him, I was merely replacing the chain."

"I refuse to be chained to you!" the teen hissed, all signs of tiredness gone.

"Light-kun is acting like a petulant child and has no say in the matter."

"This is violating my human rights!"

"That is strange, I am sure I can hear Light-kun's voice, even though he told me he would not speak until I admitted that I am a uke."

"Which you are!" the teen insisted.

"Not," L added. Light was about to respond, but remembered what L had just said and didn't want to lose, so he sealed his lips once again and remained quiet. The detective stared at him blankly for a few moments, before deciding to speak.

"Since Light-kun seems to have awoken, we should start our day early and try to find Numb," L monotoned. "Unless Light-kun has something else to add, of course."

The teen pointedly glared at L, but remained silent and just held his newly cuffed arm out so L could release him so he could remove his shirt. Really, he would have thought that someone as intelligent as L would have thought to put the chain on later, _after _they were done with their morning routines...

-

"Good morning L! You're up bright and early, I see!"

L glanced up at Roger, who had spoken in English. L suppressed a smirk, knowing that the youngster behind him would want to know what was being said, but probably couldn't pick up more then a few words of what was being said.

"Good morning Roger. Preparing breakfast for Near-kun?"

"Actually not. When I met him, he had just dropped a tooth, so he said that he didn't want any because the texture becomes weird."

L nodded. "I see. This must be one of Near-kun's last milk teeth, no?"

"I believe so," the elderly man nodded.

"Then please remember to place a pound coin under his pillow tonight."

"Shall do!"

The detective nodded again and continued towards the kitchen, purposely ignoring the low grumbles and complaints he could hear from the man behind him. In the end, Light got tired of being ignored and reached out with the cuffed arm, grabbing hold of L's shoulder.

"What was all that about?" he questioned. L observed him dully.

"Light-kun has informed me on several occasions that his English is up to standards and he has also told me that he is not speaking to me at the moment."

"Stop being a smart ass!" Light muttered. The detective sighed.

"Roger informed me that Near-kun has dropped a tooth and I told him that someone needs to put a coin under his pillow."

The teen furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Huh? Why?"

"Has Light-kun never heard of the tooth fairy?" L asked, eyes widening considerably. The teen remained silent, blinking twice.

"You really don't know who she is?"

Light blinked again.

"The tooth fairy," L began with a sigh."Is a good fairy who gives children golden coins in exchange for their teeth. When the child goes to sleep, he or she places it under his or her pillow. The tooth fairy then comes at night and makes the exchange."

"She breaks in to peoples homes and steals their stuff then," Light deadpanned. L's eye twitched.

"If Light-kun admits his ukeness, then I will show him tonight. I can show him using Near-kun while he is sleeping."

Lights face consorted into one of disgust. "You sick, sick person! He's a kid! And you're with _me_!"

L's eye twitched again. The detective noticed his own eyetwitch and realized that he was acting out of character. "Light-kun?"

"Yes?"

"I, L, who virtually has control over the entire world, has officially declared Light-kun the uke. If he questions my authority, I will never show him what a tooth fairy is!"

"What?"

L gave him a stare that was so empty, yet so full of emotion, that it convinced him to swallow his pride momentarily and nod in exeptance. Besides, he could always reclaim his tittle as seme later!

-

Matt and Mello, who had only overheard the part about Near dropping a tooth, were already plotting their next move.

"This time I'll get her!" Mello snarled, lips curved up into a smirk.

"She'll never know what hit her!" Matt agreed, an equally mischievous grin gracing his freckled face. "But honestly, don't you think kidnapping is a bit extreme?"

"Are you kidding me?" Mello questioned, eyes narrowing considerably. "She betrayed me! When I dropped my first tooth, I hid it from Roger because I heard these rumors about him steeling them in the night. But when I woke up the next day, the tooth remained! She never gave me any money!"

Matt scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "O-kay."

-

The rest of the day progressed without notable event. L, Light, Matt, Mello and Near spent the morning searching for more clues, but made no progressions, Numb was still a mystery. After that, Matt and Mello had retreated, carrying a pair of handcuffs looking suspiciously like the ones L and Light were wearing...

… … … yeah …

L and Light had also retreated to their room. This made Light slightly nervous, especially after being officially pronounced the uke, but his fears were soon pushed aside when L announced that he wanted to spend some quality time with Hikari.

Light sat on a chair nearby, disappearing into his own little world. He really wanted to start watching dust again, but the rooms in Wammys were spotless, to clean for even a single grain of dust to survive.

A sudden yelp from his side forced him to turn around.

"Ryuzaki?" He questioned, quirking an eyebrow. The detective turned around slowly, looking very guilty.

"Light-kun... I believe that Hikari has gone missing."

"What?" Light hissed. "How? You had her only a few minutes ago!"

"I got distracted staring into Light-kun's eyes and didn't notice when she escaped."

Light ignored the first part of the comment and shot up from his chair, searching for the missing hamster. Near was also called to the scene to help with the search, but it was no use, Hikari remained gone. The mission ended in failure, L feeling slightly guilty and Light royally pissed. Near has crept off in silence, not wanting to disrupt the tension between them.

Just after the clock struck twelve, L decided to speak up.

"Light-kun?"

Light nodded in acknowledgement, still fuming. L took this as an indication to continue.

"It is time to give Near-kun his coin."

Light got up wordlessly, following L's lead out of their room and back out to the corridor, stopping outside a (very) white door.

"This is it," L stated usefully.

"So it is," the teen muttered.

"Would Light-kun like to do the honors?" L asked as a peace offering, not wanting Light to be mad at him any more. Light nodded and pressed the door open, but froze as he heard a weird noise. He turned to L.

"Did you hear that?"

"It is probably nothing," L reassured. Light sighed and continued through the door.

He caught sight of a flash of a string. Then his feet got caught in something, before he received a blow to the face. His sight was then blocked of by a piece of fabric with a wird smell and his upper body was forced into a gigantic bag.

He let out a (_non_) uke-ish squeak.

"Got her!"

"Yes! Take that, you theif!"

L stared in horror at the scene playing before him, but all he could muster was a worried "Light-kun!"


	23. The disapearence of Nate River

A/N: Sorry for the wait -.-''

(You can skip this part if you want... I had to put this in to borrow her catchphrase...) Thank you Stephanie, my source of inspiration. If it wasn't for her I would not come up with any of this. She manipulates me with her puppy eyes. I am weak and she will always be superior to me.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death note or the tooth fairy_

-

"Light-kun!" L squeaked, staring i horror at the lump of fabric, which was currently being held down by Matt while Mello seemed to be tightening some sort of rope around the lump to still Lights desperate struggles.

Matt turned at the sound of the voice of the detective and immediately let go of the moving bag. He then glanced down and noticed a taut chain sticking out underneath. Following said chain with his eyes, he soon found the other end of the metal attached to L's skinny wrist.

Meaning that the person in the bag wasn't the tooth fairy, unless L had somehow caught her before them and chained her to his wrist in order to prevent her from escaping.

"Er... Mello, we have a problem," he muttered, tugging at his partners shoulder.

"What?" The blond snapped, whipping his head right round and was met by the same creepy stare as Matt. He instantly let go of the belt. Unfortunately, that left Light without any support and he tripped forward, dragging L with him to the ground.

They landed with a loud thud.

The blond and the redhead stared for a moment, waiting for either of the two to get of the floor, but none of them moved.

Hesitantly, Matt crept forward to the pile of bodies.

"Are they dead?" Mello asked carefully.

"I'm not sure," the gamer replied. He leaned forward and extended a finger towards the black haired man.

_Poke_

"He's not moving!" Matt hissed in panic. He had barely finished talking before Mello began to leave the room.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Matt squeaked as he shuffled up from the ground, almost tripping in the process.

"What do we do now? We've killed L!"

"We'll pin it on Near," Mello replied simply. "Now hurry, before Roger or Watari sees us!"

The pair hurriedly made their exit, slamming the door shut behind them.

…

…

"Have they gone yet?" Light asked from his place under the bag.

"I believe so."

L sprung up from the ground, only to crouch back down by the side of Lights head. With a quick tug, the bag was off.

"Did Light-kun acquire any injuries?" L asked, dreading the answer.

"No..."

"I must say that I am very disappointed with their actions. Who would have thought they would go that far..."

"I'd say! Who the hell shoves someone into a bag and starts beating them up!"

"I was thinking about them fleeing an obvious crime scene and attempting to pin it on an innocent, but Light-kun also has a point."

"What do you mean 'also has a point?'" Light hissed in annoyance, his left eye twitching slightly.

"Hmm... I wander if Near-kun has managed to sleep through all this noise," L thought aloud, glancing around the room. As if only now realizing that the room was still relatively dark, he moved away from Light, searching for the switch on the wall.

"You're ignoring me!" Light accused.

"I am," L agreed. Finding what he was looking for, he switched the light on. He stood there for a moment before a creepy grin covered his features.

"I just turned the '_light'_ on," he snickered.

"Already heard that one," the teen grumbled, looking for something to throw at the detective. In his search, he turned to the bed. It was white, just like everything else in the room. The expensive looking wood was a shade that could put snow to shame and the covers were so clean and crisp Light wandered how many bottles of bleach had been used to get them that way. Heck, even the pillow looked like it had been stolen from a snowman.

There was just one problem.

The only being alive whose eyes could tolerate spending more then half an hour in a place as white as this was missing.

"Ryuzaki... where the hell is Near?"

"Near-kun is asleep in his..." L silenced as he caught sight of the unmade bed. "Not again..."

Wordlessly, L turned around, dragging Light with him.

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to find Watari and order immediate lock down of the building. Then, we are going to send out search teams."

"Are you sure? I mean, It sounds a little extreme," Light mumbled. This seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because L turned to him, eyes blazing.

"One of the few people I consider family is missing and I will not let anyone get in my way of finding him! If Near-kun is not back tomorrow morning, I am calling in a proffesionel search crew!"

Light blinked twice. "O-kay..."

-

Light wasn't sure if his mind was fully comprehending what was going on.

No, really.

Children and staff alike, geniuses in various levels of intelligence, had been gathered together and then split in two. Half of the search teams were to begin on the top floor and the other half would start down in the attic. They were to scan the entire place, leaving no room unsearched.

All to find a kid who Light was sure would show up in a few minutes.

This was getting ridiculous. He had tried to make conversation with L, but the man was out of it with worry and it was impossible to get a word out of him.

There wasn't really much fore him to do but to stand around. It wasn't like him helping would make a difference, the kids seemed to be doing fine on their own.

Instead, he tried to pick up some interesting gossip. The problem was, they were all talking forein languages so he could only make out half of what was being said.

He heard a loud sigh from next to him and turned his head automatically.

Well, look who it was, none other then Matt and Mello. The red haired gamer seemed to have a look of total bliss spread across his face. This intrigued Light, how could someone look so happy at a time like this?

Then he heard what was being said.

"I wish I was a deodorant," Matt sighed dreamily. This caught Mello's attention. The blond turned to the redhead, quirking an eyebrow.

"No you don't!"Mello said slowly, as if speaking to a four year old. "Cause then you'd be liquid."

"Oh yeah..."

Okay, now Light was confused. He must have misunderstood what they just said. They were speaking English after all... Yeah... Either that or they were speaking in some kind of code. That must be it.

Light musings were cut of my a sudden yelp.

"Oh my god! Zombies"

This time, L turned as well, staring at the person who had yelled.

Matt stared back, pointing a shaky finger at them, his face a ghostly shade of white.

L smiled one of his creepy grins, scaring Matt even more and causing the boy to take a horrified step back, slamming into the blond next to him. Mello promptly smacked him in the back of the head.

"Stop acting out! They're not dead!" he hissed. Mello's eyes suddenly narrowed as he realized what situation he had left them in and realized that he was most likely in big trouble

L however, seemed to have something else on his mind.

"I promise to spare Mello-kun if he tells me were Near-kun is located. If he is unharmed, that is."

Mello stared. "Huh?"

"What have you done with Near-kun?"

"Hey, we haven't done anything this time!" Matt cut in. L gave him "the look".

"Really now?"

"Really! We were planning the capture of the tooth fairy, so it couldn't have been us!" Mello defended himself.

"You still believe in the tooth fairy?" Light snorted.

Matt and L winced simultaneously.

"..."

"..."

"What do you mean?" Mello questioned.

"You honestly can't be for real!" Light let out a laugh. "L told me that most kids stopped believing in her when they're about six! You must be what... _sixteen?"_

Mello's eyes suddenly widened and he turned to L, unblinking.

"You said that?" he whispered. L wasn't sure what to do with this completely uncharacteristic display of emotions, so he just nodded dumbly.

"You mean... she's not real?"

Oh no... he was being serious, wasn't he? Light bit his lip as he regretfully watched one of the 'toughest' people he knew break down in tears. He felt as ashamed as a puppy that had just peed up the Christmas tree and ruined all the wrapped gifts.

Matt patted the blonds shoulder awkwardly. "There, there. Maybe we should go upstairs. They'll find Near without us."

L and Light stared after them, overhearing something about that Mello hoped 'the little sheep wouldn't show up'.

L opened his his mouth, but light interrupted him before he could say anything.

"Don't!" he said. "I already feel stupid. I should have kept my mouth shut."

"Actually, I was going to say that the rest of the search team had already left."

Well now he felt_ extremely _stupid.

-

"I can not believe it!" L sighed as he collapsed in bed that evening.

"I told you he was safe," Light grumbled. "If only you'd listened to me."

"Light-kun is being purposely annoying. I would recommend that he stops that now, unless he wishes for me to kick him in the mouth."

They had spent several hours searching the house, looking in every room. They'd almost called some creepy secret agents, until they realized that they had forgotten one room.

Nears.

Apparently, he had just gone to the bathroom.

L was not a happy man.

"At least he's safe," Light offered. L nodded. The teen was about to say something else, but was cut of by a pair of forceful lips. He let L do what he wanted for a minute or so before he pulled away.

"Now isn't the time, you're in a bad mood."

L blinked, large, puppy eyes in place. "If you were my boyfriend you'd do it!"

"Ryuzaki, that's got to be the worst form of manipulation ever!"

The puppy eyes stayed in place.

"No!"

Puppy eyes.

"... … No!"

Puppy eyes.

"... No?"

Puppy eyes with tears forming.

"Fine then!"

L didn't have to be told twice. He lunged.


	24. Getting in on

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note_

-

_Thump_

"Ryuuzakiii!"

_Thump_

Several gasps were heard.

"Light-kun!"

A loud thud.

"Ow! Damn it Ryuzaki! That hurt!"

"I am sorry. I will be gentler next time."

"You better!"

Another few thumps followed, until all sounds from the room silenced.

Matt, Mello, Near, Roger and Watari could finally breathe out and remove their hands from their ears.

-

"Ryuzaki," Light hissed as he limped into the kitchen. "Why is Watari staring at us like that?"

L turned to see what Light was talking about and just like the teen had said, Watari was giving him a stern, disapproving look.

"I have no idea, Light-kun."

The pair walked over to the table, L dragging the limping brunet behind. They settled down next to the trio consisting of Mello, Matt and Near. An awkward atmosphere settled over the group. Near looked slightly more disturbed then normal, Matt looked really uncomfortable and Mello was smirking at Light there was no tomorrow. The blond leaned across the table, grin still in place, leering over at Light.

The teen pulled back.

"What?" he asked.

"So... you finally did it, huh?"

"Huh? Did what? I didn't do anything!" Light said, confused.. This however, only made Mello smile even wider.

"Yeah that's right... You weren't the one _doing_ anything."

Light was getting really confused now." Seriously Mello, what the hell are you going on about?"

"We should stick together, Light. All ukes united and all!" the blond grinned.

The teens eyes flashed. "Excuse me? I am _not _the uke!"

"Aw come on, no need to be shy about it! Between you and me–"

Light lifted a hand, silencing Mello. "I don't want to hear it. I've had this discussion way to many times already."

"Light-o Yagami, you can't honestly want me to believe that you're the seme after all that limping around the room," Matt cut in, not wanting to be left out.

"Huh?" Light blinked.

"Aw, don't play dumb! We heard you! Hell, I bet half of Wammys heard you!" Mello smirked.

Light was about to say something, but L interrupted him.

"Both Light-kun and I are equally confused, but we have a more urgent matter at hand," the detective sighed.

"Such as?" Matt questioned.

"Numb. We can only assume that he or she is planning his or her next attack at this very moment, unless he or she has already committed the act."

"Can't we just call Numb 'he' for the sake of convenience?" Light grumbled.

"If Light-kun wishes, though we must remember that there is a fifty percent chance that he is female," L informed.

"It's not like we'd forget," the teen muttered under his breath, but L ignored him.

"I have a suspicion that _he _will begin to commit more severe crimes once he gets bored with us making no progress."

"You can't really call it crimes," Matt put in. "All he's done is mess a few things up."

"He ruined _my _book!" Mello growled

"And he stole the key..." Light muttered.

"And Hikari is missing," L added thoughtfully.

"You're blaming that on Numb?" Near whispered, wrapping a pale strand of hair around his childish fingers.

"Of course I am, who else would want to cause Hikari any harm?"

"Mello's python," the redhead breathed.

"What was that?" L questioned.

"Nothing," the blond half-shouted before Matt could say anything else. "I definitely don't have a potentially deadly animal in my room."

L made a mental note to get Roger to search Matt and Mello's bedroom.

Their conversation continued in a similar manner for about half an hour. L told them about his theories and Light offered a little input, but apart from that, they got nowhere.

After finishing their breakfast (Near nibbling his robot, L eating cake and Mello consuming a freakishly large quantity of chocolate) they headed into one of the many libraries.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what are we doing in here?" Light asked, eying the enormous shelves lining the walls, all filled to the brim with books of every imaginable sort.

"We are waiting for Numb to strike."

"We're just going to hang around and wait for him to come to us?" Light asked, sounding skeptical.

"Pretty much, yes," L nodded.

"Don't ever eat yellow snow," Matt said suddenly. "I learned that the hard way."

"…."

"...."

"...."

"Mello-kun, please stop Matt-kun from saying random things that make him seem stupid, it may damage Wammy's image."

An awkward silence followed. Light figured that nothing particularly interesting was about to happen, so he reached out and grabbed hold of the closest book, hoping to read to pass time. He didn't bother to check the cover, assuming that most books in a place for geniuses would be reasonably good. He opened it and began to read.

_Now, as many of you may know from the last edition, hacking into the government database without getting caught is a relatively easy task. Moving on from the basics, this step-by-step guide offers the reader to go even further, hacking into..._

He stopped there, blinking twice.

"Ryuzaki, is it really such a good idea to leave books like this lying around?" the teen managed, turning to the man. The detective glanced up.

"I see nothing wrong with it."

"What? Aren't you teaching them to _follow_ the law? Considering you're _L_! Hang on, once you've hacked the government data base, what else is there?"

"Lots!" Matt shouted from the other end of the room. "Though it looses its thrill after that."

The teen silently put the book back in its place and decided to do something else to pass the time. Dust watching, anyone?

-

"I can't believe I wasted a hole afternoon doing nothing!" Mello growled.

"There, there. At least we know now that Numb isn't interested in libraries," Matt said reassuringly.

"I still don't get why we went in there in the first place," Light commented. "It wasn't like he was any more likely to be in there then any were else."

"And I was sure he was going to be in there..." L grumbled.

They continued on in silence, L moping, Mello sulking and the rest enjoying the rare silence in the orphanage.

L made a quick spot in the kitchen, grabbing a bar of chocolate for Mello and himself. Suddenly, he felt something buzz in his pocket.

_'Secret agent man, secret agent man'_

"Real discreet ring tone, Ryuzaki," Light commented, but L ignored him, answering the phone.

"Hello?"

Light tried to listen in to the conversation, but L was talking so quickly that the teen wasn't even sure what language was being spoken. After a dull few seconds of listening, L hung up.

"What was that about?" Light asked.

"Watari. He said he wanted to talk to us about something."

"Oh," the brunet muttered. "I wander what he wants."

They waved the youngsters of, leaving them to do whatever they pleased for the rest of the day.

-

Light shifted uncomfortably under the intense gaze of the old man. The teen wasn't used to the man acting like this. Actually, he had never seen Watari in any other moods then neutral and content. Seeing him like this was mildly terrifying.

"I expected more from you, L," Watari said, finally speaking up. L quirked an eyebrow.

"What does Watari-san mean?"

"Don't play dumb, I heard you! Half of England probably did!"

"Huh? Heard what?" L asked, genuinly confused.

"Please stop acting. Tell me, have I done anything wrong? I thought I was doing a good thing in supporting your relationship, but apparently I was wrong. You can do whatever you wish, but I expected more."

"More what, Watari-san?" Light questioned.

"You are two adults and should be able to control your urges! Especially around the children!"

"Urges..?" Light suddenly realized what he was talking about... "Oh... Listen, you got it all wrong! I know this sounds really awkward, but L kind of lunged at me and we fell on the floor and I kept falling back down when I tried to get up."

The man looked like Kira had written his name down in a notebook.

L also seemed to realize what was going on. "It is as Light-kun said, I was being to rough."

-

It took about half an hour to explain to Watari that nothing 'impure' had happened and another ten minutes to calm him down. L was thoroughly embarrassed and wanted to go back to their room and work on the Kira case.

"Ryuzaki, cheer up!" Light said. "It could have been worse!"

"How?" L ´muttered.

"Well," Light said. "At least _I managed_ to avoid disaster today."


	25. Zimmer theif

A/N: Sorry for the wait... I hope this lengthier chapter compensates for the wait... Updates will speed up when the school holidays begin!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death note_

-

"I still think that if purple had a colour it would taste like hamster– Oh, hi L!" Matt greeted cheerfully, turning away from Mello in order to face the detective.

L nodded in their direction while Light looked startled. Had they really been talking about eating hamsters? How long had Hikari been missing...?

"What will be doing today?" Mello asked eagerly, interrupting Lights musings.

"_You,_" L said, emphasizing the word, "Will be going to school. During all the days I have been here, I haven't seen you attend classes once!"

Mello opened his mouth and then closed it again. "Fine," he huffed. "And what will you be doing?"

"I will be taking Light-kun out on a date."

Cue simultaneous "What?!"s.

-

"Is Light-kun enjoying our date?" L asked, sounding like a child on Christmas day wondering if his mum liked the wooden spoon he had worked hard on, but still ended up failing miserably with. Light wasn't about to play the role as proud mother.

"We haven't got arrived yet!" he sighed.

"But is Light-kun enjoying my company?"

Light didn't reply, instead turning and staring out the window, watching the scenery flash by. Eventually, the car slowed to a halt and L tugged the unwilling teen out with the chain.

"Where are we going?" Light muttered, sending a deathly glare in L's direction.

"First," L began. "We will be going out to buy Christmas presents. I am assuming Light-kun has yet to buy his. Then, I was thinking that we could go out for a drink."

-

"Where are we going?" Matt asked nervously, eyes shifting across his unfamiliar surroundings.

"Just trust me," Mello replied. The two had gone to the first two lessons at Wammys but, to no ones surprise, the fiery blond had gotten bored and after a few phone calls, dragged Matt out of the house.

"Okay, Mello!" the gamer said, smiling. "I trust your judgment and will follow you wherever you go and – why the hell are we in a sewer?"

"Shh!" The blond hissed, turning around with a finger pressed firmly to his lips. "If you're not quiet, they will hear you!"

"They?"

"Shh!"

They crept on, Mello sneaking and Matt pinching his nose to block out the pressing smell. The constant sound of dripping water and footsteps were the only sounds that could be heard.

Mello stopped suddenly. "We're here," he whispered.

"Here?"

"Just watch!"

Matt watched in confusion as Mello knelt down and started feeling along the damp walls, counting out loud as his finger passed each brick. When he reached twenty-three, he paused for a moment, before digging his nails into the side it and pulling it out.

"What are you doing?" Matt asked, silently pleading that Mello wasn't hiding any sort of drugs.

The blond smirked, pulling something out from the hole in the wall. "Getting this!"

Matt studied the package for a good five minutes before finally reaching a conclusion. "Chocolate?"

"Matt, Matt, Matt..." Mello sighed. "This isn't _any _chocolate! It's special!"

"Yeah, I kind of figured that this kind of hiding place was a little extreme even for you!"

"It's not legal in Britain yet," the leather-clad teen explained, ignoring the redheads previous statement. "It's said to contain only three calories per hundred grams! You can eat loads without getting fat!"

"Oh... But why is it illegal?" Matt asked carefully.

"Something to do with the additives... But don't worry! I fed it to Near last week by crumbling it in his Lego, so it's safe!" Mello exclaimed proudly.

"But don't you think dealing with illegal chocolate is a little risky? I mean, what if L find out?"

"That's why we wont tell him!" the blond explained.

"Oh, Okay then."

-

Two glares, both equally intense, were fighting against each other. Milk chocolate and coal, no elements wishing to back down were now standing face to face, waiting for the other to give in.

"Go away!" Light hissed, not moving his eyes from the man.

"So that Light-kun has a chance to flee? I think not!" L shot back, also keeping his gaze locked firmly ahead.

"But I need to buy your present!" Light growled, waving his hands in annoyance.

"Then Light-kun should do so!"

"But then you'll see it!"

"I have already memorized every item in this shop, so I do not see the problem," L monotoned, still not backing down.

"But you don't know the exact object that I'm going to buy you!"

"Yes I do."

"No you don't!" The teen huffed. "And stop lying!"

"The day day I stop lying will be the day I die!"

"Geez, dramatic much? Please _Ryuzaki_, just un-cuff me for five minutes while I go and grab what I need and pay for it! It won't take long..."

"The answer is no, Light-kun."

Light remembered the trick L had used on him a few days ago and attempted to use the puppy eyes of doom, but ended up failing and giving off something that L couldn't think to describe in any other way than "uke-eyes".

"Light-kun had five minutes,"L muttered unwillingly, unlocking the chain. "If he is not back within the given time, I will come and search for him."

Light ignored him and quickly scurried of to get L's gift. He found what he wanted and went to stand in the queue, but, to his annoyance, noticed that the cashier was gone. On top of that, there was an old lady with a walker standing in line.

He was tapping his foot impatiently, when he suddenly felt someone touch his shoulder. Light turned, and was surprised to see the woman smiling up at him. She grinned, letting go of the walker and pressed a finger to her lips.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?" she breathed.

Before Light had time to translate, or even less understand what the woman had said, she simply walked behind the counter and opened the cash register. She then started to stuff her pockets with money, before going back and standing next to Light as if nothing had happened.

The teen was unsure of what to do. According to him, just standing and watching as a crime happened was as bad as committing it yourself, but because of his limited English, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to tell a security guard.

His musings were cut of by another tap on the shoulder. Light turned again and saw the very same woman standing there, smiling that same smile. She stretched her palm out to him, offering him a handful of money.

"Here, take some," she said, her friendly tone reminding him of your typical grandma. You know, the one that bakes cookies and gives you advice and knits sweaters.

Light declined wordlessly, shaking his head.

"Aw, come on! Here!" She shoved the money into his hands and took a step back, her facial expression suddenly relaxing. It was in that moment the cashier arrived. It took here one moment to register the empty till and another to notice Lights hand full of money. Her eyes narrowed and she took a step forward.

"Can you come with me sir?" she asked firmly. Light blinked once before realizing what the situation must look like from her point of view and that he would be in a sticky situation unless he did something quick. If only there wasn't the problem with the language barrier...

"Itsu wasu her," Light stuttered, pointing at the elderly woman. The cashiers expression fell into one of dissaproval. She took a step forward and grabbed hold of Lights arm.

"Do you honestly want to pas the blame to a poor old lady? That is unbelievably low! She wouldn't even be able to get her walker past the bump in the floor!"

Light didn't have time to register what was being said as he felt a pair of strong hand wrap around his wrists, just by the bruisings of the cuff and directly on his cast. He let out a low gasp, struggling as pressure was added on his almost fully healed wrist.

"Ryuzaki, help me!" he called out in Japanese, hoping that L was within hearing range.

"Shut up! You're coming with us," one of the people holding on to Light growled in his ear, pulling him away from the scene and to the back of the shop.

He was dragged through a door marked 'private' and slammed down on a chair. A man, who Light assumed was a security guard, took a place opposite him. The teen looked from the man and to the door, beginning to panic. He had no form of ID on him, Ryuzaki had all that stuff and Light had no way of contacting him!

"Well then, could you start this off by telling me your name?" The man asked, his blue eyes borring into Lights. It took him a moment to translate the sentence, but at least he knew the answer.

"Raito Yagami," he replied, remembering to switch the order of the two round.

"Raito?"

"Rait," Light tried again, the man had to get his name right so he didn't think he was kidding around when he found his ID.

"Right?" the man questioned. Light shook his head.

"Do you have a piece-u of paper-u?" he managed, making a writing gesture as he did so. The man handed a paper and a pen over and the teen wrote his name quickly, before handing it over to the man.

"...月," The guard stared down at thee neat kanji on the paper.

"Tsuki," Light said. "Pronounced Light-o." This time, the teen managed to get the 'L' in, but the man wasn't listening.

"Whatever... I'll just call you Yagamyi."

"Yagami," Light corrected.

-

L glanced up at the clock outside the shop, growing increasingly agitated by the minute. Light had been gone for almost a quarter of an hour now and according to L's calculations, he should have been out by half of that time.

With an annoyed sigh, he stepped into the shop to find the boy. He walked up and down the isles, peered around corners and even asked a lady nice old lady if she had seen him, but the brunet was nowhere to be found. As a last resort, L walked up to one of the cashiers.

"Excuse me, have you seen a Japanese boy about as tall as me, brown hair, broken arm and with a... _strong _accent when speaking English?"

The girls eyes narrowed. "He was with you?" she hissed.

"Did something happen?" L asked, fearing the answer.

"Did something happen? He attempted to rob us and then tried to blame it on an eighty-something woman!"

"Where is he now?" L inquired, trying to work out how Light would have gotten himself into a situation like that. Probably with great ease, anyway...

The woman led him through the shop, stopping outside a door.

"In there," she muttered, storming of before L had time to thank her. He opened the door.

He then closed it quickly, debating whether to leave or not.

He then decided that it was best to stay and opened the door again. He winced as he took in the situation, Light was currently being shouted at by a security guard, who looked just about ready to draw a gun.

"Stop stalling and admit it, Right Yagamyi!"

"But I-ru did note do anything! It was-u notu me! And my name isu _Light Yagami_"

L coughed. "Excuse me gentlemen, I think we have a misunderstanding here."

The two men ended their struggle, both turning to the detective. A smile spread across Lights face.

"Ryuzaki! Help me! And tell the man my name!"

"What has my friend done?" L asked, ignoring the teens request.

"He attempted to rob our shop and blamed it on an old woman with a walker."

"Would you refrain from contacting the police in exchange for a small fee?" L monotoned.

"You're attempting to bribe me?"

"Pretty much, yes." L then pulled out a checkbook and a pen from nowhere and quickly jotted something down. He then passed the paper to the man.

"I hope this is enough."

"Are you for real?" The man asked, blinking twice to make sure that he hadn't misread the sum of money. L nodded.

"Well that settles it. Take your little friend, but keep him out of trouble in future."

-

"I am very disappointed with Light-kun."

"But Ryuzaki, I–"

"Even though this lowers the Kira percentages by several percent, I would never have thought Light-kun would sink so low."

"But I didn't–"

"Light-kuns dept is running really high and if he isn't careful he will end up working for me for the rest of his life."

"But I really didn't steal–"

"However, I am willing to set this all aside for the time being as we have reached Wammys house. We shall not speak of this again."

"Whatever," Light muttered, giving up on redeeming his image. The chain was back in place and the teen doubted he would be released any time soon. It wasn't fair! He hadn't done anything wrong! Stupid old lady with her stupid walker and her stupid... he couldn't come up with anything else that was stupid about her, so he just settled for calling her a plain idiot.

His mental rant was interrupted by L opening the door. They both stepped in, but froze.

Everything was white.

Everything.

Walls, floors, tables, chairs... all coated with white paint.

"Numb..." L muttered.

"He's really done it this time," the teen managed.

They heard loud voices from the kitchen, so they headed in that direction.

"It was not me."

"It must have been! Who else would paint the hole fucking place white!"

"Mello-kun and Near-kun are in there," L observed helpfully. Light sighed, following the detective in.

"Hello," L greeted. "It seems we have a problem."

"L! Look what Nears done!" Mello said, gesturing to the walls.

"How does Mello-kun know it was Near-kun?"

"'Cause everything white!"

"I think Mello is trying to frame me," Near whispered.

"You think I'm framing you?" Mello asked in disbelief.

"Yes. You don't have an alibi for the day, since you didn't attend classes, so it must have been you."

"Why don't you search my room then, if you don't believe me!"

They all walked up the stairs, which were just as white as everything else. They stopped outside Mello and Matt's room. Near entered first, but stopped in the doorway, laying eyes on an object on the floor.

"I rest my case," Near hissed, sending a nasty glare in Mello's direction.

"What do you – Hey, how did that get there?" Mello yelled, staring at the large tub of white paint in the center of his floor.

"How does Mello-kun explain this?" L asked.

"It wasn't me!"

The debates continued and because Mello couldn't say were he and Matt had been or what he had been doing during the day, they had no way of proving their innocence.


	26. There is a snowball Near by

A/N: This chapter contains... er... half of Watari's true name spoiler?

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Or snow. Or anything else... :(

-

It was early morning and, for once, L and Light were up early, quietly munching on their breakfast. L was still in a bad mood because he had missed Numb a couple a days earlier and Light was grumpy about being accused of robbery, so none of them had really said anything since then.

A sudden scream from upstairs caught the pairs attention.

"Now what?" the brunet muttered.

"I think," L said. "Matt has awoken."

L's suspicion was confirmed a few minutes later when Matt came bouncing in to the kitchen.

"L! You'll never believe this, but Numb has struck again!" the redhead exclaimed, waving his arms wildly.

"He has?" Light asked, surprised.

"Yes! I'll show you!" Matt quickly dragged the pair to the window and told them to look outside.

Everything was white. Snow lay thick across the ground, covering every inch of the grounds. Even the trees were white and Light had an unexplainable urge to shake the snow of them, preferably while someone was standing underneath.

"What has Numb done?" L asked after observing the scenery for a good few minutes.

"He's painted everything white!" Matt said, eyes wide.

_Silence._

Light leaned over to L and began whispering in his ear. "Did someone drop him on his head when he was younger?"

"Possibly," L replied, looking startled. "Matt-kun, I thank you for your help, but sometimes it is best to be quiet and let people assume you're stupid rather then opening your mouth and confirming it."

"What's that supposed to mean, – hey, look! It's Mello! Good morning!"

Mello muttered something under his breath.

"He's in a bad mood," Matt warned.

"Oh... Why?" L asked.

Matt winced. "You should know."

"What does Matt-kun mean?" L questioned.

"My birthday!" Mello hissed. "And you call yourself the best detective in the world! Does the thirteenth of December ring any bells?"

"But that was days ago," Light said.

"Exactly! And only two people remembered! Two! Matt and Near! Fucking Near remembered but neither you nor Wammy remembered!"

An awkward silence followed.

"Whose Wammy?" Light whispered to L. The detective suddenly looked extremely alarmed.

"It is er... _Rogers _nickname," he covered quickly, not wanting a potential Kira to know Watari's real name.

"And you know what presents I got from him?" Mello continued, not yet finished with his rant. When no one said anything, he continued. "Chocolate. Near gave me chocolate, and I ate it! I ate something Near gave me! Because he took the time to buy me something that he knew I would like!"

"What did Matt-kun buy?" L asked, not able to think of anything better to say.

Mello's lips suddenly curved into a half-smirk, but the fury still didn't leave his eyes. "Oh, just some ropes, chains, whips, chocolate lubricant–"

"Actually, I think it would be best for my mental well-being if Mello-kun refrained from telling me," L interrupted before any images could form in his head.

"What, so now you won't pay any interest to me?" he fumed.

"If Mello-kun stops playing victim –" L promptly ignored Mello's smirk,"–Then we can celebrate his birthday now."

"Really?" the blond asked, eyes widening.

"Yes. I will let Mello-kun chose the activity on todays agenda."

Mello's smirk suddenly became so evil that Light couldn't help but feel afraid. _Very_ afraid...

-

Light stood outside, the cast on his arm finally gone, holding a snowball in a firm grasp. He was glad to finally be able to use his right hand, as it would have been a pain to have to try and aim with his left while having L attached.

They had been divided into teams, L and Light against Matt, Mello and Near. Light thought it unfair that it was three against two, but then Mello had reminded him that he and L were older.

Not that that would have made much of a difference in this situation...

The teens thoughts were cut of by a distinct swishing sound. He barely had time to duck before he felt something cold smack into the side of his head.

"Damn it!" he muttered as the snow slowly slid down into his jacket.

"Is Light-kun harmed?" L asked, but the teen shook his head.

"I'm fine. But we need to make a plan, I'm not loosing to a bunch of kids!" Light said, sweeping ups some snow and shaping it into a snowball. "If you go first as a distraction, I'll hide behind you and attack!"

"I am not going to be Light-kun's shield!" L stated. "Would Light-kun care to be mine?"

"... … Not really."

"Exactly. I think we should sneak up on the enemy and –"

L was cut of as a snowball hit him in the eye. To the detectives credit, he didn't flinch. He simply bent down and made a snowball, scanning his surroundings. "Where did it come from, Light-kun?"

"There-" Light said, pointing in a random direction. L stared at the glittering landscape.

"There is nothing there!" L muttered. "They must be hiding..." The detective had just finished his sentence when three more snowballs came rushing in their direction from seemingly nowhere. L ducked quickly, causing all three to slam into the teen.

"Damn it, Ryuzaki!" the teen hissed, brushing the snow out of his face. In doing so, he failed to notice the giant white blob coming in his direction.

"Light-kun, watch out!"

"Huh?" Light looked up, but was instantly slammed down into the snow by a giant white weight. He didn't have time to react and was sent tumbling head first into a misfortune placed rock.

_Smack!_

L stared in horror at the unconscious boy, who currently had a terrified looking Near sprawled across his chest.

This was not going well...


	27. All I want for Christmas is you!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death note._

-

_Glomp!_

Light startled awake as the weight of three children and one fully grown man plonked down on his body.

"What the..." he muttered, opening his eyes, staring at the ever familiar group.

"Merry Christmas, Light-kun!"

"Time to open our presents!"

"I want a DSi!"

"I want Lego!"

"I want chocolate and a gun and a rocket and a motorcycle and a computer and a new bed and a python and a panther and –"

"I want Light-kun's smexy a–"

"Okay I get it! I'll get up!" Light sighed, a tanned hand flexing up to touch his bandaged head. It was so typical, he finally got to loose the cast on his wrist, only for _that_ to happen. Stupid Matt and Mello trying to use Near as a snowball...

The teen let himself get dragged out from the bed, not bothering to change out of his striped pajamas. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Light was seated around a tree. He blinked once, suddenly noticing the absence of about 98 percent of Wammys house...

Great, L's percentage thing was rubbing of on him.

"Where's everyone?" The brunet slurred, gesturing around the almost empty room.

"Oh, you mean the other brats? I ate them!" Mello announced happily.

Light blinked twice, unsure if he had misheard the blond.

"The children are divided into different groups every Christmas, each getting their own tree and room for opening gifts, since it would take to long time for everyone to do it all together," L eplained.

"Oh..."

"I'll open mine first!" Mello said suddenly, lunging for the largest present. He began tearing it open viciously, shredding the red wrapper without checking who it was addressed to. Finally, about half a minute later, all signs of joy left his face. "Ten kilograms of Lego?"

"I think that might be mine," Near said, a hint of smugness lingering in his soft voice. Mello chucked it over wordlessly, Light silently marveling at how the small blond had been able to throw something that heavy with so much ease. Near moved before he was crushed by the box, smiling at his gift.

"I will hand out the gifts!" L announced calmly, not wanting anything bad to happen. He reached in and grabbed hold of a present wrapped in a skull-decorated paper. He glanced down and passed it to Light.

"To you," the detective said.

"Geez, I wander who that's from," Light muttered.

"You can't tell? It's from me" Mello sang happily, suddenly forgetting hid previous misery. Light nodded in his direction and opened the gift, revealing a bottle.

"Wow, chocolate body lotion! Cool! My old one just ran out! How did you know I needed a knew one?"

An awkward silence filled the room.

"Um... Light-kun–" L began, but was cut of by Mello.

"That's not body lotion," the blond smirked. "It's lubricant! The best one around, at least I think so anyway."

Light dropped it like he had been burnt, suppressing a shiver.

Awkwardness still lingering in the air, L pulled out another gift. "To Matt..." he read swiftly adding a "-kun" to the end. "From Mello-kun / Santa."

"I'll slash santa," Light muttered under his breath as Matt accepted the gift happily.

The present-opening continued until only one remained. Everyone was relatively happy about their gifts, except for Mello, who hadn't received anything potentially fatal.

L as about to reach in for the gift, but Light stopped him.

"It's from me," the teen explained. "I want to give it to you."

L shrugged, accepting the brightly wrapped box. He observed it for a moment. "Why is it full of holes?"

"Just open it."

L complied and ripped the paper of, revealing a box. He opened the lid and peered in, his eyes meeting those of a small creature. Intrigued, L lifted the top of the box of entirely to get a closer look at his new pet.

"A hamster?"

"A hamster," Light confirmed. "After Hikari went missing, I wanted you to have a new one. This ones a boy though, so–"

The teen was interrupted by something landing on his head. Namely, a small Christmas stocking.

"Ow," he hissed.

"Light-kun, that decoration was very light," L said, chuckling once he noticed the unintentional pun. The teen didn't reply, reaching up to remove the thing from his head. He let out a yelp as something sunk into the flesh of his finger.

"Fuck!" he pulled back, accidentally sending the sock flying. It landed in the center of the floor. Everyone stared at it silently, gasping as it began to move around.

"It's alive," Matt hissed, letting out a '_meep_' as the piece of fabric made a move in his direction.

"Don't move," L commanded, taking on the task of investigating. Cautiously, he tugged at the soft material and was surprised to see a little splodge of black and white.

"Hikari!" L gasped, sweeping the thing of the ground. "What a coincidence!"

-

"I can't believe she showed up days after I bought you a new hamster!" Light grumbled.

"I thought Light-kun would be happy to see that Hikari-chan hasn't been eaten by a snake or Matt-kun."

"Well I am, but now what do we do?" he sighed, glaring at the new, dark male hamster accusingly, as if it was his fault.

"But now she has a friend," L reasoned. "I shall name him Yami."

"Yami?"

"Yes."

"Whatever," the teen sighed. "I think I should phone home, just to let everyone know I'm okay."

"Do you celebrate Christmas at home?" L asked, not looking up from his hamsters.

"Not really. We eat nice food and stuff, but we don't do anything special."

"Oh..."

Silence filled the room.

"Were you not about to call your parents?"

"Can't be bothered," the teen muttered. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Hey L, I forgot one of my presents. Will you let me off the chain to get it?"

"I guess so," said absently, swiftly unlocking the chain.

"Stay here!" Light ordered, before running of.

L didn't respond, wandering why Light had assumed he was about to leave.

-

Light reappeared a few hours later, looking slightly nervous. He shifted a little, unsure of how to go about this.

"Is something wrong?" L asked. The teen shook his head.

"Go and sit on the bed," Light requested. L complied, wandering what the brunet had in mind.

Light stepped forward, trying to hide the insecurity from his features. He leaned down hesitently, his face inches from L's. He let their lips touch gently, surprising the detective.

"Do you want your present?" Light whispered, his breath tickling L's face. The raven nodded.

"I haven't done anything like this before, but I think you'll like it," the teen purred. L's eyes widened and were filled with an emotion Light couldn't place.

"I'll describe your present first," the teen breathed. "It's soft. Very soft. Covered in strawberry jam and whipped cream."

L was stunned.

"Do you want it?"

_Nod. _

"Sure?"

_Nod._

"Very well."

To L's great disappointment, Light suddenly pulled back and started fumbling with something behind his back. '_Maybe he's found another chain...__'_

"Merry Christmas!" Light sang, holding out a box. L stared.

"What is this?"

"It's your other present!"

L reached out for it, opening the poorly wrapped cake box.

"Is this a joke?" L asked.

"huh?"

"Is Light-kun attempting to kid around with me?"

"What do you mean? Its sponge-cake! Soft with whipped cream and strawberry jam, just what you like! What did you think I meant?"

_Silence._

L wasn't sure why he did it, but the desire was to strong to surpress. Without blinking, he slammed the cake into Lights face.

-

A/N: Poor Light xP

Yu-Gi-Oh references ftw! Find it and I'll give you some mince pies/a slice of Christmas cake/whatever traditional Christmas food you desire^^

Merry Christmas!


	28. Puzzles in life

A/N: Wow.... over _200_ reviews! Thank you sooo much! Special thanks to The Sora-muffin, the 200:th reviewer :D ((Hands out cookies))

Sorry for the lateness of this chapter -.-'' Updates will slow down a little as I have got into a few new fandoms and will be writing for them as well (on a different account). There will be about one week between chapters!

Also, five people caught the reference ((Hands out more cookies))

Thank you Stephanie for helping me with this chapter!

Disclaimer: … … I disclaim -.-''

-

"Light-kun?"

No reaction.

"Light-kun?"

Still nothing.

"Light-kun?"

Death glare of doom!

"I apologize for my actions..."

Back to silence.

L mentally sweat dropped. Light had been like this for a hole week, ignoring every word L said and only speaking to him when strictly necessary and it was beginning to get annoying.

"If Light-kun does not speak now, his Kira percentages will sky-rocket," L tried.

Glare.

"Speak, Light-kun!"

Light gave him a long glare. "Woff."

"Light-kun needs stop acting like a spoiled teenager." He uttered the words as if they were dirty insults.

"Ryuzaki, I'm _eighteen_! I _am _a teenager!"

"..."

"..."

"It is time for breakfast," L announced, promptly changing subject. Light huffed and pushed past the detective, set on entering the kitchen before L. The raven didn't mind, following silently.

Matt was in the kitchen alone, staring intensively at a box of cornflakes.

"Good morning," Light greeted as he plonked down next to the boy. "What are you doing?"

Matt was about to reply, but was cut of by a sigh from the other end of the kitchen.

"Matt, not again... please don't tell me you're doing it again..."

L and Light looked up at the sound of Mello's voice.

"What is he doing again?" L asked, eying his possible successor thoughtfully.

"I've spent hours trying to solve this puzzle!" Matt grumbled, glaring at the table. "There's a picture of a cock on the front of the packet, but I can't get the pieces to fit!"

Light and L exchanged worried glances, the former momentarily forgetting his anger. Mello looked at the pair for help, but none was offered. Awkwardly, the blond lifted a hand to pat his boyfriends shoulder.

"I'll help you clean this up, okay? We need to get ready for tonight," he tried, swiftly beginning to clean up the mess on the table.

"Tonight?"

"New year!"

"Oh yeah." Matt visibly perked up at the mention of the new beginning and started helping Mello clear up the cornflakes. That was, until he pressed down to hard on one of the pieces and it snapped in two.

"Oh no!"

"What's wrong?"

"I broke one f the cornflakes..." Matt trailed off sadly.

"So?"

"That means I'm a cereal killer..."

L and Light seemed to snap out of their dazes at this and the teen wordlessly turned to leave, giving L no other choice then to follow. Leaving the youngsters to it seemed to be the best they could do in this situation anyway...

-

The rest of the day was spent in silence, Light sulking and L deep in thought. Evening eventually came and the two went downstairs to join the rest of the orphanage residences in their new year celebrations.

Sprawled across the living room were a handful of unopened fire works. The brunet glanced down at the packets, his fingers twitching with an indescribable urge to try them out.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," he began, keeping his voice as nonchalant as he could. "Can I light one of those?" He gestured towards the pile that littered the center of the room.

"Is Light-kun speaking to me now?" L asked, his voice as flat as ever.

"Just answer the question!" the teen scowled, fingers clenching in annoyance.

"Judging by Light-kun's health record –which _I _am paying for– I think it would be best not to..."

"What's that supposed to mean? And they are listed as _work related injuries_!"

"Light-kun is very accident prone..."

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Light-kun is a walking disaster waiting to happen! He is constantly mangling his limbs, breaking his bones and falling over! How is that non-accident prone?" L fired, staring unblinkingly at the boy.

Light opened his mouth, but closed it again. "I'll forgive you if you let me light one," he sang, a smirk curving at the corner of his lips.

"Light-kun will?" L asked, eyes widening.

"Mmhmm."

"And Light-kun will speak to me afterwards?"

"Yep."

"Deal. But Light-kun will have to wait until the other rockets are fired up."

The teen nodded, suddenly content. "So Ryuzaki.... do you have any new years resolutions?"

"Of course not," L replied as if were the most obvious thing on earth. "I am perfect. Everything I do is perfect. What about Light-kun?"

"Just two. The first is to catch Kira. Actually, I'm surprised it's not on your list... Anyway, the second is to keep Yami and Hikari alive," the teen sighed. "And you," he added suddenly,"will help me!"

L's eyes widened, but he nodded, not wanting to upset the boy now that he was actually talking to him again.

They continued on into the main living area, were they found a hole bunch of kids, all in different shapes and sizes with various levels of oddities.

"Well this is annoying, now we're stuck with a bunch of drooling, snotty brats," Light huffed, glaring at the kids. L thumped him in the side.

"Don't talk about them like that. They are like brothers to me" The way in which L uttered the words convinced the teen to never mention the children in a bad way ever again.

"Can we er... fire up the rockets now?" Light asked in an attempt to prevent any awkward silences from filling the room.

"I guess," L muttered reluctantly. They walked back into the other room and picked up a few rockets (L obediently picked '_that_ pretty, pink one' that Light wanted) and went outside.

"Shouldn't we wait for the others?" Light asked, suddenly intimidated by the thought of setting the fire work alight.

"Is Light-kun scared?" The innocence in the detectives voice was sickening.

"Of course not," he huffed. "Give me the matches so I can get these things going."

L wordlessly tossed the matches over. Light reached out to grab them, but they somehow bounced when they touched his fingers and he had to make an awkward dive to get a proper grip on them. Fingers wrapped firmly against the surface of the box, he bent down to the base of the rocket, ignoring the weird glance he could feel burning a hole in his t-shirt.

Cautiously, he lit the match and brought it to the wick, letting the greedy flame lick the surface. Once it was actually burning, Light took a clumsy step back, but ended up slipping in the snow and kicked the rocket over. He stared at it for a few moments before his eyes widened in sudden realization: the rocket was about to blow...

He suddenly felt something tug hard at the collar of his shirt.

"Get back, Light-kun!"

The teen scrambled back, just as the rocket shot forward, shooting sparks everywhere. It didn't get far though, as it soon shot straight into a small wooden house at the end of the garden. There was a loud cracking noise and a distinct burning smell filled the chilly night.

The pair stared in unblinking shock.

"My shed!" L wailed unhapily, giving it a mourningfull look.

"Er... Happy new year?"


End file.
